Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

Title: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
Author: Chelsea Handler
Format: Paperback, 213 pages
Pub. Date: June 6th 2005
Source: Purchased.


3 Stars.

Chelsea Handler is a comedienne best known for her show, Chelsea Lately, as well as her previous books (Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. She brings her edgy, often profane and hilariously offensive sense of humor to this book, which is a collection of one night stands that she has had in her life. Ranging from men to odd fetishes, midgets, and men who can't even "rise" to the occasion, she brings a unique perspective to the life of a single woman in LA.


This book is exactly what it sounds like. Each chapter presents a different man that she has slept with (or, has tried to sleep with), and each one is funny for its own reason. I've watched her show on E!, but this was my first introduction to her best selling writing.

+ My Horizontal Life really is hilarious. Personally, I'm an introvert. I'm not a big party-er, and I'm not even close to the level of sexual casualness that Chelsea is. To be honest, I think that's what made this book funnier. I can't even fathom half of these situations happening. I don't know how I'd react to some of these men, other than to be speechless in disgust/disappointment/awkwardness. The fact that she's so calm, cool, collected, and so damn hilarious when facing these kind of events is a special kind of talent, and I've got to give a tip of the hat to her for that.

+ There was a good variety of stories. Though each chapter is similar (at the end of the day, this book is about sex. Simple as that), they are strikingly different. This made it a quick, easy read that didn't drag on monotonously. I thank her for spicing up her sex life stories for my own entertainment purposes. Cheers.

- True, there is no actual plot to this book. It's more of a diary or collection of short stories than a novel. However, at the end, there's a resolution that ties up the previous 200 pages of sluttitude. It happened really fast, like there was a page maximum limit and the book needed to instantly stopped. It made me sad that I was suddenly out of pages.

+/- This point is neither a positive nor a negative. A lot of reviews that I have seen mention her being awful and offensive. Some people probably think so. Hell, a lot of people probably think so. I can not stress this enough: If you are offended by her stand up, or are unfamiliar with her brand of comedy: DON'T READ IT. It's that simple. Comedy is in the eye of the beholder. I find alcohol induced embarrassing sexual woes hilarious. You might not. To each her own.

This book was a much needed pick me up in a time of the holiday blues. If you like her comedy or previous books, this is up your alley. If you embrace or appreciate the partying, sex embracing, drug snorting lifestyle, you'll get at least a few laughs from this. But if you're easily offended, prude, or uncomfortable with this time of crass humor, don't even bother picking it up. I promise, you won't like it.


  1. At this rate I'll never get to my books with all the ones I want to borrow from you xD

  2. Finish Perks of Being a Wallflower, damn it.