Review: This Star Won't Go Out by Esther Earl

Title: This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl

Author: Esther Earl, Lori Earl, Wayne Earl, John Green

Format: Hardcover, 431 pages

Pub. Date: January 28th 2014

Source: Purchased from Half Price Books



Book Description via Goodreads:

A collection of the journals, fiction, letters, and sketches of the late Esther Grace Earl, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 16. Photographs and essays by family and friends will help to tell Esther’s story along with an introduction by award-winning author John Green who dedicated his #1 bestselling novel The Fault in Our Stars to her.

Review:

★★★

I'm left not really knowing what to say about this book, if I'm being completely honest. I am going to keep this review as simple as I can, while still giving my opinion on the book itself not the topic of the book.

Like a lot of other readers, I picked this up after reading The Fault in Our Stars. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I'm not a part of the Nerdfighter community, so I had little to no information about Esther prior to this book's release. When I realized what the story was about, and saw that it was prefaced by John Green, I knew I wanted to read it.

This hardcover is really, really long. However it's not that much text. There's a lot of pictures and transcripts taken in letter or email format, making it an easier read than it appears to be. I do think it was very poorly organized as a book. This book includes a lot of Esther's writings from her journals, letters, and internet happenings. But there's no real chapters or distinctions, so one minute you're on a diary page, and the next you're reading insight from one of her doctors. I also feel like this book dragged on longer than it needed to. I feel horrible saying that, but it was just kind of boring after awhile. I know how that sounds, and I'm so sorry, but it's true. Esther was also a very religious/spiritual person, and there's heavy doses of God in this book. That's nowhere near a bad thing, but it's not something I anticipated going into the book.

Honestly, Esther seems like she was a great person. She comes off as very kind and optimistic, and everyone certainly seemed to love her right until the end. And I think that's great that, as the title suggests, their star won't go out. I hope she inspires sick kids everywhere to be positive and to keep fighting and keep smiling.

I've read quite a few cancer memoirs, and because of that I can't say this book really taught me anything. That said, it was interesting to see cancer through a kid's perspective. Sad, of course. But interesting nonetheless.

I think that this book (already does) will gain lots of fans who will find inspiration and solace in the words and life of Esther Earl. I think it is worth reading once. However, I don't think I will be rereading it in the future, and I don't know that I will remember this book further down the road.

It's not you, book. It's me.

Fall Mini Review: An October Bride

Title: An October Bride
Series:: (A Year of Weddings, #11)
Author: Katie Ganshert
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: September 23rd 2014
Source: Netgalley & Zondervan

Description via Goodreads:

A year's worth of novellas from twelve inspirational romance authors. Happily ever after guaranteed.

She wants to make her father's dream come true. She doesn't realize her own dream has been in front of her the whole time.

Emma Tate isn't a risk taker, so everyone in her small Midwest town is surprised when she suddenly becomes engaged to lifelong friend Jake Sawyer. No one but Jake and Emma know the true reason they're getting married---so Emma's dying father can walk her down the aisle.

While Jake and Emma plan an autumn wedding together, it becomes clear that their agreement has a few complications---the biggest being their true feelings for each other.

In this novella by award-winning author Katie Ganshert, a young woman must reconcile her dying father's dreams with her own dreams for love and for her future.

★★★★

I'll start this review off by saying that I haven't read any of the other books in the A Year of Weddings series. I was drawn in by the gorgeous cover and the promising blurb, and was in the mood for a quick romance that would put me in the proper autumn spirit. That's exactly what I got.

This novella has absolutely beautiful writing. I haven't read anything from Katie Ganshert before, but it's definitely clear that she's a talented author in this story. The descriptions are detailed, the characters have depth, the plot drew me in from the first few pages. All of these things, I usually find, are hard to come across in the format of a novella, where space is limited. While I do wish this story would have been drawn out into a book, the pacing and story-telling are well done and not at all rushed or cut to the chase.

The romance in this novella was sweet and clean without being cheesy. I fell in love with the characters and their stories rather quickly, and rooted for the not-so-real romance to bloom from early on. This book has a few laughable parts and a few sad ones, but there's this lingering feeling of hope throughout the text that I rather enjoyed. This paired with the fall scenery made for a pleasant reading combination.

One thing I wasn't aware of in this book was the Christian themes. This didn't hinder my rating or reading experience at all, it's just something that I neglected to realize at the time of download.

This is a great read for anyone looking for a short, clean, sweet romance. Though of course it can be read at any time, I recommend reading it in the fall season like I did. Though it's part of a series, it works as a standalone as well. Thanks to Netgalley and Zondervan for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Streaks of Blue by Jack Chaucer

Title: Streaks of Blue: How the Angels of Newtown Inspired One Girl to Save Her School
Author: Jack Chaucer
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: September 27th 2013
Source: Netgalley

★★★★

Four stars.

While camping out with her best friend Candace, Nikki has the strangest dream. A dream that seems to be a warning that social outcast of their high school, Adam, has plans to shoot up the school. Though her friend tells her that it's probably just nothing, Nikki can't shake the bad feelings that it stirs inside her, and she comes up with a simple plan- to become Adam's friend when he might not have any others. But is her friendship too little, too late?

-----

I have to first get off my chest the horrible timing with which I finished this novel. Today, October 21st, 2013, there was a shooting at a Nevada middle school that left two dead, and two injured (as of now). The shooter is believed to be 13 or 14. I am greatly disturbed even more so by this book because it is an issue that clearly is still in need of great discussion.

Nikki is a girl that everyone should be a little bit more like. It's true that I didn't always agree with her choices- befriending two boys who are emotionally unstable enough to plan on a mass murder is obviously extremely dangerous- but she had the cahones to stand up to her school, and her friends who questioned why she'd want to be friends with such a "trailer trash train wreck." I could not help but to think of the wise words of Albus Dumbledore: “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” Though her best friend was loyal and in the right for being worried, Nikki stood up for what she thought was right, and that's a really hard thing to do in life, high school especially.

School shootings are a widely controversial topic, but Jack Chaucer is gentle and understanding when referencing other shootings- namely Sandy Hook. I was afraid that this book would have been insincere and abuse a hot news story in order to have a plot, but that was definitely not the case. This whole book is gritty and frighteningly real, and driven with emotion.

I did have a few small issues with the book that resulted in its four star review in lieu of five. The conversations between characters had a tendency to feel forced, which led to a small disconnect for me. The end was also patched up rather quickly, but to be honest, I'd rather have it wrapped up a little fast than drag on for too long. And, though this personal opinion isn't reflected in the rating, I'd have really liked to hear more of Adam's story.

It's a sad but true fact that most of us (thankfully) will never know exactly what's going on inside a shooter's head. It's for that reason that things like this need to be taught and discussed: You don't know the life of anyone else. Just because someone is different is no reason to taunt, bully, or pick on them. A little friendship and kindness can go a long way. Embrace differences, and be kind. It's preachy and cliche but god damn it if it isn't true.

Be warned that this book addresses a sensitive topic, contains colorful language, and references drugs and alcohol. The author is donating half of all profits from this book to the Newtown Memorial Fund.

Thank you to Netgalley for my chance to read this.

Review: The F-It List

Title: The F- It List
Author: Julie Halpern
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: November 12th 2013
Source: Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group

★★

Two stars.

Alex and Becca's friendship is strained, to say the very least. While Alex is faced with the loss of her father, Becca comes forward and confesses to sleeping with Alex's boyfriend. A bit of time passes, and Alex's anger is all but forgotten when she hears that Becca has cancer. Becca asks Alex to complete her bucket list as she starts chemo, so that's exactly what Alex does- sets out to complete the renamed F- It list.

----

This book wasn't my cup of tea. I felt like it has a good base idea and concept, but tried to do too much.

-As my regular followers know, relatability to characters is something that is very important to me. Now, that doesn't mean I want all characters to think or act like I would were I in their shoes, but I at least need to be able to understand the choices that they make and why they made them. That wasn't the case with Alex. I found her unlikable and often questioned why she felt the need to behave as she did.

+The one aspect of Alex that I did like was that she is pretty much a walking encyclopedia of horror movie knowledge. I also have a love of all things spooky and macabre, so props to the author for including the references that she did.

+-That being said, if the reader has no previous knowledge of horror movies, I feel like the constant references will get old quickly.

-I was also pretty surprised at the amount of mentions of sex and obscene language. Keep in mind that I'm no prude, and in life away from the blog, I swear like a trucker. But I expected this book to be a more, well, young young adult than it was- it's from a children's publishing group after all. It threw me off guard, and while I personally don't have a problem with content of this sort, I know that other people will definitely be unhappily surprised with it.

+Another positive point is the cover. I'd definitely pick it up on a shelf. It looks edgy and very teen angst-y.

Overall, I think why I'm so disappointed is that I expected the story to be more focused on the pair of Becca and Alex as friends, and less Alex-centric. I wanted more story about Becca's battle with cancer and their friendship and less scenes between Alex and Leo. I am sure that a lot of people will enjoy this book. It's not badly written, and it has a great concept. But for me, this wasn't what I was expecting, and it left me disappointed.

Thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group for my copy.

Review: The Fault in Our Stars

Title: The Fault in Our Stars
Author: John Green
Format: Hardcover, First Edition, 316 pages
Pub. Date: January 10th 2012
Source: Christi the Teen Librarian blog

★★★★★

Five stars.

---

I'm going to deviate from my normal review format when reflecting upon this book. I feel that this novel is more deserving of a mess of plus marks and minus signs, of pros and cons. This review will be half of my opinion, and probably more directed towards the fictional characters of the story, and less towards the nonfictional people who read my thoughts on books. For that, I am sorry that I am not sorry.

If teenage Hazel is anything, it is that she is no stranger to thinking about life and death, though namely the latter. She has lungs that do not know how to be lungs, and though a new medicine is lessening her suffering, she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. It is at her cancer support group that she meets Augustus Waters, a cancer-free survivor with a prosthetic leg and an interesting take on the world around him.

Hazel and Augustus are the most beautiful couple that I have ever read about. Keeping in the theme of the title of this story, it is the faults of these characters that make them so intriguing, relatable, and completely unforgettable.

Every word, from Hazel's internal thoughts to the pair's dialogue and everything in between is smartly and stunningly written. Each word is no doubt strategically placed by one John Green to make this book flow with undertones of love, haunting, and a strange metaphysical feeling that made me personally feel both like the universe is leaps and bounds bigger than myself and that I am nothing more than a speck in an infinity of lives lived.... But at the same time felt a sense of this life is what you make it, and so you must live today all that you can. Who knows if tomorrow will be your Last Good Day?

Augustus is a boy that I would have felt privileged to know. He shares a lot of similarities with other book leads- sweet, funny, likable. But there's something more to that. He had this intellectual wit and view point that made him seem both quirky and wise beyond his seventeen years of life. He was strong, and romantic (even if it wasn't so subtle). And the extent to which that he loved Hazel is awe-inspiring and heartbreaking simultaneously.

And then there is Hazel. Her thoughts seem so rational and sensible to the point that they at times seem cold. I like that her thoughts follow this darkened pattern with bursts of bright optimism and worth. Both characters just loved each other so harshly and so fully, it consumed everyone around them. Strangers, family, friends- everyone could see just how much the pair cared for one another, and it was lovely. I can't help but to think of an Edgar Allan Poe quote to describe them: "But we loved with a love that was more than love."

I am pretty sure that I felt every possible emotion during the course of this novel. I admittedly cried more than once. I got the warm fuzzy "aw" feeling that one sees when two old people are holding hands, or when a puppy and a kitten are curled up together in a box. I felt inexplicably happy and laughed, I grew sad and I mourned. I cheered characters on, cursed others, grew angry, frustrated, and confused with their actions.

Now that I have finished reading, I just have this weird sense of.... Well. I am acutely aware of the fact that I am alive. I can feel my pulse in my neck, I am hypersensitive to the breeze wafting towards me from the vent. I just.... Feel.

I must state here, since this is a review, that I am very blessed and fortunate enough to not know anyone who is suffering with cancer. I do have to specify, using Hazel's words, that this book is a cancer book, not a "cancer book"- there is so much else going on. Because I can not relate to the level of illness and stress in this book, I must say that if you do know someone, this book may be all the more meaningful and heartbreaking to you.

I feel that this is a book that deserves to be read by everyone and anyone who is able to read, and those who cannot should make someone read it to them aloud. Five is the highest number of stars that I can allot, and I assure you that I have found no fault in them.

Thank you to the Christi the Teen Librarian blog for my signed copy of this book.

Her Mad Hatter by Marie Hall

Title: Her Mad Hatter(Kingdom Series #1)
Author: Marie Hall
Format: Kindle Edition, 164 pages
Pub. Date: July 7th 2012
Source: Amazon

★★★★★

Five stars.

Alice Hu is something special- the great granddaughter of the original Alice in Wonderland. The new owner of a cupcakery in Hawaii, life as she knows it changes when a strange old woman enters her shoppe after hours. A fairy godmother who works for the fairy tale bad boys, this woman has searched for decades for the right Alice. If Hatter doesn't find a mate soon, he will go completely mad and Wonderland will go amok along with him. Alice is sucked into Wonderland and she's thrilled- she's been in love with her fictional Hatter since she was 13. When she meets him in the flesh, he is everything she hopes for. Tall, dark, and handsome with a sensual voice, he's familiar to her. The catch? He hates her. The original Alice hurt him bad, and her relative is the spitting image of her. Three days is all Alice has to make the Hatter love her, and to save him from his insanity.

----

I was blown away by the book. It is not often that I am pleasantly surprised, but this book was far better than I expected.

+Wonderland is described beautifully. It's fantastical and maddening and gorgeous and oh, Alice, I would never want to leave there either, especially if I had a sexy Mad Hatter all to myself too.

+Hatter is yummily described. Normally when I read romance books it's the stereotypical "prince charming" features- brawny, blonde, and blue eyed. Hatter is none of things, and is far more desirable to me. I have a fictional crush on him anyway, so I was fully on Alice's side in this story and lived vicariously through her.

+This was an erotica/romance with an actual plot. The sex was steamy and well written, and the sexual tension and frustration were driving me insane. That being said, this took a back seat to the plot of saving Hatter. This is how I like my romances, as opposed to 200 pages of nonstop meaningless bedroom time.

+I was taken by surprise by the ending. I don't want to give spoilers, but I actually teared up. I probably should have seen it coming, but alas, I did not. I ran out of pages way too soon and I'm not done with their story yet, even if the book is over.

I recommend this to adult fans of Alice in Wonderland who want a bit more spice in their fairy tale. This book is not for children or for prudes. This is the first book in a series, and I cannot wait to read the rest, featuring other fairy tale bad boys.

I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler

Title: I'm Not Her
Author: Janet Gurtler
Format: Paperback, 285 pages
Pub. Date: May 1st 2011
Source: Purchased.

★★★★★

Five stars.

Nobody looks at Tess. She's a weird and anti-social freshman, always studying. Not to mention the lack of fashion that both she and her religious fanatic obese best friend possess. No, everyone would rather look at her older sister, Kristina. Kristina is bubbly and easy to like. She's nice to everyone, beautiful, and the star of the girls' volleyball team. That is, until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly Tess finds her home life falling apart, with her sick sister, gossipy mother, and absent father all tearing away her own goals, while at school she's thrust into morbid popularity. She's the sister of the hot one who's sick. Life, trust, and friendships are lost by some but gained by others in this heart-wrenching story of family, love, and coping.

---

I'm not sure that I can write a cohesive, non-blubbering review for this book, but I'm going to try.

+The amount of emotion in this book is simply astounding. Just when I thought I couldn't grieve or cry any harder, Gurtler ripped away another piece. This book is raw, brutal, and often times uncomfortable. But that's what makes it so beautifully written and realistic. Anger, sadness, hope, betrayal, shock, and grief were all present in this novel, and my heart and brain weren't always sure how to react.

+What else made this book realistic is the type of cancer Kristina develops. It occurs in a non-vital location that I never even thought could get cancer. It's a snap back to a harsh reality that cancer can effect any part of anybody at any time.

+The characters were all flawed, but well described. I absolutely loathe both her mother and her "best friend." I wanted to hug Kristina and a few of Tess' new friends.

+And on that note, I wanted to console Tess. I relate more to her than any other character, being a nerdy introvert myself. I also relate because my mom was sick, though it wasn't cancer, and all of a sudden it brought out both the best and worst in people. You'd be amazed how many people change and how drastically in the face of a tragedy.

I could gush forever, but I'll spare you all that rambling mess. I recommend this book for ANYONE affected by cancer, anyone with a sister, or anyone who wants to read a book where they will shed tears. A similar book to compare it to is Tell the Wolves I'm Home.

On the Island by Tracey Garvis-Graves

Title: On the Island
Author: Tracey Garvis-Graves
Format: Paperback, 319 pages
Pub. Date: July 17th 2012
Source: AToMR Book Blog Tours and WinterHaven Books blog

★★★★★

Five stars.

On the Island is a book that takes place, as you may have guessed, on an island. Anna is a thirty-something teacher who has been hired to tutor TJ- a sixteen year old boy in remission- during his summer vacation in the Maldives. All is well as they fly from Chicago to the Maldives, but their next leg of travel isn't so smooth. Their pilot is dead before the plane hit the water, and they find themselves stranded on an unoccupied island with only whatever supplies wash in from the crash. Bonds are formed- Anna watches TJ grow into a man, and TJ only has thoughts for Anna. But worry is always on their mind. Will TJ's cancer come back? Will they get off of the island? Will either of them acknowledge the growing attraction between them, though the world outside of the island would tell them that it's wrong?

---

sdofgkhdfg.

That was my actual thought at the end of this book. You can ask my girlfriend, who received that text. I was filled with so many emotions that it kind of all just came out in one incoherent whale noise.

I loved this book. It is written in alternating points of view, giving a well rounded plot from both sides of the relationship. The writing easily maintained my attention, and managed to be both descriptive and beautiful yet so lonely and sad. Being twenty myself, I felt that I related both to the young student TJ as well as the female, Anna. This novel is surprisingly not dull, considering that it takes place on an island with only two people. The plot twists made my hopes soar, as well as break my heart. I admittedly cried, & was way more attached to the outcome of this story than I would have ever guessed.

This is one of the few times that I am very glad I listened to the hype & reviews. This book did not disappoint, and Tracey Garvis-Graves has made a fan of me. I cannot wait to read whatever she puts out next.

A uncommonly given but well-deserved five stars, I recommend this for women who love romance, or anyone looking for a summer, beachy read. Be advised though, if you find a relationship between a teacher and student too risque or taboo, pick up a different novel. You won't like this one.

Thanks to AToMR Book Blog Tours and WinterHaven Books blog for sending me this book.

The Foremost Good Fortune by Susan Conley

★★★★

Four stars.

I won this book from a Goodreads First-read.

I am pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed Susan Conley's 'The Foremost Good Fortune'. Reading the synopsis of this book, though I knew I wasn't in the the target audience, I couldn't help but to be intrigued. Despite a few aspects of the novel that I simply couldn't relate to (and not just about cancer), this book was an overall pleasant read. It is a haunting yet detailed story of what it takes to be a family, a person, and possibly most important of all, a survivor.

Susan and her husband Tony, as well as their sons Aiden and Thorne, move from their warm, cozy Maine home to halfway across the world to Beijing. Tony is well versed in Chinese living, but it is a completely alien nation to the sons and to Susan. The boys are enrolled in an international school, and each family member must learn to live and function in this new land, since they are to live here for two years. Aiden and Thorne begin to learn the language, and slowly but surely they begin to adapt to living here. This ties into one part of the memoir that I did not enjoy. Susan is distant and almost cold to her children because they are beginning to learn the Chinese way of life while she is struggling with her own self alienation and lack of Chinese communication skills.

Over time, Susan too begins to speak a bit of the language, and the entire family begins to make new friends from not just China but all over the world. Everything seems to be balancing out, and the family is settling in to the Asian landscape. But as the ominous, shadowy undertone that carries through the pages of this memoir, there is more drama ahead.

Susan feels two small lumps in her breast, and seeks treatment in a Beijing hospital. At first the doctor tells her that it is nothing to worry about, but upon further operation and inspection her fear is confirmed, and she is diagnosed with breast cancer.

The rest of the book passes in a whirlwind of emotion and self-searching as she travels between Boston and China for treatment, and eventually comes to terms with being both alone in "the cancer lake" as well as once again being part of a loving, supportive family to whom she becomes closer to after her diagnosis.

Over all, this novel paints a vivid image of life in Beijing. The people, the food, and the sights are all given their time in the story, making me more interested in China. That being said, I don't feel like I learned anything about living with cancer from this memoir. It was summed up as, she was diagnosed, then it skips through treatment, and suddenly she is back in China. I expected more of an emotional regaling of her tale, but it came off a bit cold and seen over. For this I have rated it four stars- I recommend it to those who are looking for a book about a family in China, but if you are looking for a journey about cancer, it will fall short of your expectations