Review: Miss You Love You Hate You Bye by Abby Sher

Title: Miss You Love You Hate You Bye
Author: Abby Sher
Format: Paperback ARC
Pub. Date: February 18th 2020
Source: The Windy Pages


Book Description:

Zoe and Hank (short for Hannah) have been inseparable since they met in elementary school. The leader of the pack, Zoe is effortlessly popular while Hank hides comfortably in her shadow. But when Zoe's parents unexpectedly divorce, Zoe's perfect facade starts cracking little by little. Sinking under the weight of her broken family, Zoe develops an eating disorder. Now she must rely on Hank for help.

Hank struggles to help Zoe; after all, she is used to agreeing, not leading. How can she help her best friend get better before it's too late?

Written partially in letters from Zoe and mostly in narrative from Hank's perspective, Miss You Love You Hate You Bye is a poignant and eye-opening novel about friendship, mental health, and learning to put yourself first.

Review:

★★

I wanted to like this book. I really did. I think books on young adult mental health are so, so important. But this one fell flat for me and I was left disappointed.

The book is written in almost duel perspective. It's 90% from the main character, Hannah's, point of view. Every so often there's a letter written by Zoe to break things up. While I understand why it's written from both sides, I didn't care for the letters aspect and would have just preferred duel POVs as things were actually happening. Because of the letters, we start right off the bat knowing what Zoe's fate is. We know she's in a hospital/treatment center. We know she's mad at Hannah, and we know that ultimately, she's okay. Because of this, it made me less interested in the story from the get-go, because I had the resolution before I even know the story.

I didn't care for either character. Zoe is manic and struggling and a hot mess. She's dealing with a lot- ADHD, learning problems, her parents' divorce, her eating disorder. But we never really get too much of her side of why she's acting this way. Then there's Hannah, who has a complete do nothing attitude about almost everything in her life. She does whatever Zoe tells her to, always. That's all of her personality, even according to her: she's Hannah's friend. She notices eating habits but doesn't say anything. She is unhappy but doesn't say anything. She is negative about everything. She's rude AF to her mom's boyfriend even though he's nice and kind and her mom is happy (which she resents, even though she admits he's nice) and it has been years. Even her mom eventually calls her on the fact that she's like this, which I appreciated.

Both of their inner voices felt like they were done in "adult" voices (Hannah uses words like "hirsute" in her head, for example) but their out-loud dialogue sounded like middle school- very "OMG like cringe". They're high schoolers. This back and forth of writing style/voice was a bit jarring in places.

I wish the book would have been more about Zoe. She's the one with the disorder and struggling and yet she's not really what the book is about. I appreciate that some aspects of eating disorders and mental health and self-harm were realistically portrayed in all their ugliness. It's not all therapy and sadness, it can be mania and spiraling out.

But I just found myself bored, uninterested, and wanting it to be over. There's so much happening but so little of it gets closure. It feels disconnected and almost random.

I really like that this book is about platonic friendship. There's no romance component (albeit a kiss that felt forced and unnecessary for the plot), it's just a story about friendship and I think there should be more of that.

I also think the cover is super cute, but, obviously that has nothing to do with the plot.

I think there is a need and a space for YA books about hard topics like this. But I also think that there a lot of books already out there that cover them better than this book does. If it relates to one person, or helps someone find courage to talk to someone, than this book will have been worth writing.

But I am not that person, and this book wasn't for me. Be warned, this book contains drug use, eating disorders, self-harm, and other topics that might be tough to read for some people.

Review: Hollow Beauty by Khristina Chess

Title: Hollow Beauty
Author: Khristina Chess
Format: Paperback, 225 pages
Pub. Date: September 13th 2014
Source: Goodreads First Reads


Book Description:

When tall, gorgeous Brody asks Olivia to the prom, she’s ecstatic—until he suggests that she use the two months before the dance to lose some weight. Does he think she’s fat? His comment sends Olivia on a spiral of insecurity and dangerously rapid weight loss that borders on anorexia.

As her pounds vanish, her friendship deepens with Ross, the new prep cook at the diner where she works. Despite his mysterious limp, he doesn’t suffer crippling low self-esteem like Olivia does; usually, she can’t even look at herself in the mirror anymore. But when she’s riding dirt bikes and searching for caves with Ross, she doesn’t feel ugly or fat, just herself again—hanging out and having fun.

With Brody, instead of finding the romance and true love she had hoped for, she feels like a terrified rabbit that he’s going to devour. She refuses to think about that. She’s almost thin enough to be beautiful for the prom.

And then the unthinkable happens.

Review:

★★

I'm always interested in realistic young adult books. The ones that address the tough stuff: eating disorders, self harm, conversion therapy, depression. Those are the books that helped me the most when I was that age, and I still look to them in adulthood. This isn't the first book on eating disorders that I've read, and it's something that I've dealt with in real life as well. Unfortunately, I didn't think that Hollow Beauty did a very good job with this topic.

What bothers me the most, I think, is how quickly the eating disorder issue presents itself. The boy she has a crush on tells her she needs to lose weight on page 4 of the book. And she just clings to this and the disorder starts. Did she have self-esteem issues before? Is weight something she's struggled with before? Was she already thinking about slimming down? I don't know. In the first few pages up to that point, she is happy with some fries after a sports meet. And then like lightning, out of nowhere, it begins. I wish that there was more about Olivia at the beginning, because it is so instantaneous that it comes off as odd.

I also don't really think her weight loss seemed realistic. People noticed the second she lost even a tiny bit of weight, and felt the need to comment on it. No one notices a pound or two, especially for athletes, who are always getting into shape. Not to mention that she's super rude to anyone who even shows a little of concern.

Her version of love just makes me sad. That you need to be all oogly eyed and lovey dovey and holding hands. Her judge of character at one point is that the jerk she likes doesn't open her car door, but the friend who zomg she can't POSSIBLY have feelings for, does. Such an odd little thing to use as a measurement, but whatever floats your boat I guess?

Another thing that bugged me is that while Jerk is talking about sex with her, and she's clearly uncomfortable with all of it, she has the bright idea that maybe she should just drink first so she'll like it. I'm sure that some girls out there really think like that but GOOD GOD, NO. In another moment of oddness, Olivia- who gets upset when she is even just a few calories off of where she thought and can't eat much without hating herself- slams a hard lemonade without thinking about it. Alcohol is terrible for you, weight loss wise, especially something as sugary as a Mike's.

I know I have a lot of problems with this book, but it wasn't ALL bad.

I liked that at the start of each chapter, it gave Olivia's current weight, and her goal weight. It was a good way to organize where she is in the journey and to keep track of what's going on.

I loved Ross, the friend she makes at the diner. He has a scar and a limp and is always kind to her. He's patient when she asks a million questions about his hobby, he shows concern for her weight loss, and I think it's cute that, as he's a cook, he just wants to feed her. If he was in this story more, I would have liked it more.

The book also does a good job of showing how toxic the internet/online groups can be. She joins a weight loss site called Blubber Busters which has a forum. She realizes quickly that support isn't always helpful, and that some of these girls take the weight obsession too far. While I'm not on eating disorder/weight loss apps, I am in other communities that definitely have some cesspools. I think it was a good thing to include.

There's also discussion questions in the back, if you're reading this for a club or class or something.

Overall, I found this book problematic and it wasn't for me. But it wasn't a total loss. There were some parts that were well represented, and enough interesting points that kept me reading until the end of the book. This might be a case of "it's not you, it's me", since other people seem to really like it. But, it just wasn't the book for me. Perhaps it'll be a better read for you.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Upside Down by Lia Riley

Title: Upside Down (Off the Map #1)
Author: Lia Riley
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: August 5th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Forever



★★★★★

Five stars.

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I will be the first one to admit to you that this review may continue onward to be a fangirling mess, but I will try my best to remain professional. I have only just finished this book, I need to write this review before all my gushing praise goes away.

I'll start with the beginning thoughts. First thing is first, I loved this cover. The coloring is striking and bright, and got my attention. And then I heard "Australia" and "biceps" mentioned in a Twitter conversation about Upside Down. I then had to usher this book to the front of my queue because I needed it. I am so glad I did.

I love the characters in this book. All of them are flawed, but it makes them more relatable and less predictable, in my opinion. The main character, Talia, has some skeletons in her closet. She travels to Australia in order to get away and start over for a little while, to make a Talia 2.0. One that doesn't have OCD freak outs and who graduates on time. Slight interruption here, this is the first time that I've read about an OCD character, and it made Talia stick out to me (in a good way) as a character. She's trying to figure out herself and her life. And then she meets Bran, an intense looking, gorgeous Australian with beautiful eyes and a look that's hard to figure out. He turns her world completely upside down (see what I did there?). But he's no prince charming either, and his closet has more skeletons than a haunted house in October. He doesn't want to love again... But how can he resist a girl like Talia? I love them apart. I love them together. I just love them. The heat that builds between them is incredibly steamy and well written, and I was cheering them on throughout the entire novel.

That said, I don't just love the main characters. In an incredibly rare literary moment (the equivalent of finding a unicorn), I liked the way the side characters were written as well. That's not to say I liked THEM per se, but they fulfilled their purpose in the plot, and had depth. From Marti, Talia's French-speaking lesbian roomie to Jazza, the dumb, hunky surf jockey, each character brought a unique touch to the story.

Another thing that I loved that I wasn't expecting was the amount of humor in this book. More than once, I laughed out loud. I've never read Lia Riley's work before, but she has a quirky, hilarious, pop-culture filled way of writing that I am positively adoring. She's definitely made a fan out of me. There were so many serious parts too, but the happy and the sad seemed to blend and ease into one another, making it seem emotionally flawless to this reader. It felt real.

Similarly, I love the attention to details that made this book so... Well, Australian. The setting was beautifully described in such detail that I feel like I have actually visited there. And the slang/dialect of the characters was a very helpful reminder as to where the book was set, and how I should be reading their voices (which just makes Bran hotter, let's be honest).

The book covers both POVs, though Talia does have far more chapters to her view than Bran does. It never gets muddled or confusing, and I was always very aware of whose POV I was currently reading.

All in all, I loved this book. It is the one that has successfully pulled me out of my reading slump. I will 100% be continuing onward with this series, and pretty much anything else that Lia Riley publishes. Fans of New Adult and romance, Australia, or good humor will be as smitten as I am. Be warned that this book contains sex, alcohol, and death themes.

Thank you to Netgalley and Forever for my copy in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Big Fat Disaster by Beth Fehlbaum

Title: Big Fat Disaster
Author: Beth Fehlbaum
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: April 18th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Merit Press

★

One Star.

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Colby Denton is the less than perfect daughter of an up and coming politician, something her family never lets her forget. Her sisters are perfect, but her family is ashamed of her being in the limelight because of her size. Her world starts to come apart when she finds out that her father has been lying and stealing. Forced to move into the trailer on her cousin's property, she must face new obstacles like bullying, school politics, suicide, and self-worth and acceptance in a new town.

This book y'all. This. Book. It had me in rage-tears. It made me so ridiculously angry, you have no idea. I took about six pages of hand-written, venting notes and observations on this one. That being said, I have taken some time to cool off so that I may write a respectful and professional review. I'll try my best to refrain from spoilers.

I was really excited to read this one. In theory, I should have related to it on a lot of different levels. I'm plus sized. I have a father who left us for another family and lied about money so that we had to move in with family. But this novel just didn't click with me at all. Shall we begin?

I didn't like any of the characters, and that includes Colby. She's the main character, and I ought to have felt sympathy and compassion for her, but I found her to be just as bad as the rest of them. Her family is constantly belittling her and calling her uncreative insults like "fat" at every waking turn. Even the other heavy girl in the family makes comments about it. Almost all of her teachers for some reason hate her, and the whole school makes fun of her because she's in knock off clothes. I could have maybe dealt with that. But Colby is constantly talking shit to/about her little sister, she refers to her mom's willingness to go shopping for her at garage sales when they have no money as "dumpster diving". There's a whole lot of shaming going on. They almost all feel like villains, in a kind of melodramatic way. I've been in Colby's shoes, and I've never seen such across the board horrid beings. The family members all blame her aunt for her abuse, the cousin for his defending a girl getting raped, and even Colby's mom for getting dumped. That's not even mentioning the people at school.

I also feel like she brought a lot of this onto herself. And no, I'm not talking about her eating disorder, binge eating. She puts on clothes that are way too tight and gets made fun of for it and hurts herself in the process because she won't tell her mom they don't fit. She speaks her mind at horrible times, and has to pay the price. She lies. It's awful.

On the topic of her eating disorder, I felt like it was added as an after thought when I expected it to be a more central theme. It really, in my opinion, just served to open her up to everyone's hatred. It would go unmentioned long enough that I'd forget (not about her size- that's mentioned constantly, but her disorder), and then would have to think "oh yeah, she has that."

Similarly, there are a lot of heavy topics mentioned in this book that are treated fairly blase in a soap-opera like drama instead of being given the care, tact, and respect they deserve. Eating disorders, suicide, bullying, cyberbullying, abuse, rape, slut shaming, class shaming, this book has it all. There's so much mentioned, but I don't feel like any of them were thoroughly explored or attended to. A video of Colby goes viral, and her mom actually blames her for being fat. Because if she weren't fat, she wouldn't have been filmed. What? The one character that I did like, who called characters out on their bullshit the way they deserved, dies out of nowhere and that upset me too. Not because he died, but because it seemed so needless.

This could have all maybe been leading up to some greater resolution, where differences are resolved and tensions simmer down and Everyone learns something. Nope. Colby starts to sort of come around towards the end, maybe, and then the book ends. I didn't like her anymore at the end of the novel than I did at the beginning. I felt like I read all this drama and conflict for naught.

This wasn't the book for me. If rape, abuse, suicide, or eating disorders are a trigger for you, please read this with caution. In short, it was too much drama and not enough likable characters. Be warned that this has a lot of serious themes and vulgar language. Maybe you'll like it better than I did. Thanks to Netgalley & Merit Press for my chance to read this.