Guide Review: The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy by Sam Maggs

Title: The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy: A Handbook for Girl Geeks
Author: Sam Maggs
Format: Hardcover, 208 pages
Pub. Date: May 12th 2015
Source: Quirk Books


Book Description:

Fanfic, cosplay, cons, books, memes, podcasts, vlogs, OTPs and RPGs and MMOs and more—it’s never been a better time to be a girl geek. The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is the ultimate handbook for ladies living the nerdy life, a fun and feminist take on the often male-dominated world of geekdom. With delightful illustrations and an unabashed love for all the in(ternet)s and outs of geek culture, this book is packed with tips, playthroughs, and cheat codes for everything from starting an online fan community to planning a convention visit to supporting fellow female geeks in the wild.

Review:

★

Yikes. Let's get this over with, shall we?

This definitely wasn't the book for me, that's for sure. From the get-go, I'm not sure who the demographic for this is. It's written in a really juvenile tone, but it mentions getting fandom tattoos, so... Not sure the age that this is meant for. It says in the book that this guide isn't just for girls to learn from, yet that's what the title of the book is. The word fan isn't gendered in the first place, so it was a choice to market it to women. This book also says that no one can be classified and we're all special... Then proceeds to talk about labels of fans and what defines them.

It's supposed to be a relatively feminist text, based on the cover, title, and introduction to the series. But I didn't feel that way. The male casts of shows are described not as talented, but as "yummy". There's also a fair amount of discussion of shipping characters and having crushes (like Han Solo). There's nothing wrong with ships or having character crushes, but it shouldn't be a focus of why to watch a show. People watch for talented actors, good writing, and plot lines that keep you hooked.

There's also a section that addresses how annoying "fan speak" is, but the book is still full of it. Words like glomp, squee, and feels are all in play. There's even a textual representation of a .GIF in this book. Like.... why though? I can see including it in an ebook or digital copy but it seems silly in a hardcover. That said, there's some interesting word/reference origins here, but most of it isn't new to you if you spend as much time on the internet as I do.

It's been 4 years since this book was published, and it's already incredibly outdated. Ben Affleck as Batman is a reality. This is something that, in the book, hasn't happened yet. There's also a ton more Star Wars and Avengers films (which, Avengers is really the only love Marvel gets). No one thinks of Aquaman as a lame hero anymore, not since Momoa got cast. Slang is off, shows are no longer relevant. I'm sure it was better years ago, but it doesn't all hold up.

A lot of this book is common sense. "How do I convert a friend to my fandom?" Watch stuff together. Not that hard of a concept. "How do I bring fangirl to my life?" Wear merchandise and hang a poster. "How do I notice a Harry Potter fan?" I mean, talk to people? Also a Hogwarts shirt is a pretty clear sign. I don't know why things like this needed explaining.

Though I clearly have issues with this book, I do give credit where credit is due. There's a section on comic con etiquette and what to expect your first time that I think is incredibly helpful. There's a highlight of popular conventions and where they're held, and some good resources for finding meets and stuff in your area. For me though, that's all I enjoyed about this book.

Maybe it's just me. If you learn something from this book, great. Genuinely. But it wasn't for me, and I don't recommend it.

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN! Mini Review: Conversion by Katherine Howe

Title: Conversion
Author: Katherine Howe
Format: Paperback ARC
Pub. Date: July 1st 2014
Source: Won


Book Description:

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane comes a chilling mystery—Prep meets The Crucible.

It’s senior year at St. Joan’s Academy, and school is a pressure cooker. College applications, the battle for valedictorian, deciphering boys’ texts: Through it all, Colleen Rowley and her friends are expected to keep it together. Until they can’t.

First it’s the school’s queen bee, Clara Rutherford, who suddenly falls into uncontrollable tics in the middle of class. Her mystery illness quickly spreads to her closest clique of friends, then more students and symptoms follow: seizures, hair loss, violent coughing fits. St. Joan’s buzzes with rumor; rumor blossoms into full-blown panic.

Soon the media descends on Danvers, Massachusetts, as everyone scrambles to find something, or someone, to blame. Pollution? Stress? Or are the girls faking? Only Colleen—who’s been reading The Crucible for extra credit—comes to realize what nobody else has: Danvers was once Salem Village, where another group of girls suffered from a similarly bizarre epidemic three centuries ago . . .

Inspired by true events—from seventeenth-century colonial life to the halls of a modern-day high school—Conversion casts a spell. With her signature wit and passion, New York Times bestselling author Katherine Howe delivers an exciting and suspenseful novel, a chilling mystery that raises the question, what’s really happening to the girls at St. Joan’s?

Review:

★

I had such high hopes for this one. I love American history, and have special interest in Salem. I have an entire shelf dedicated to books- both fiction and nonfiction- on the subject. So when a retelling young adult book caught my eye, I was so excited. Boy, what a let down.

The main character was the absolute worst. She's demeaning and shallow and so self obsessed it's ridiculous. If she's supposed to be relatable, then I don't want to meet the girl who sees herself in Colleen. Every word that left her mouth was either snotty, judgmental, or about herself. I couldn't take it for long. The more she talked the less I cared about her and the book.

And the other characters, as well as the plot, are so bland that I can't tell you anything about them. Other than it was set in a prep school, and there's your sterotypical "preppy girls" who show up in every other book that involves a private school in the young adult genre. There's some Salem outlines and references, but it wasn't chilling, or haunting, or anything else that I expected upon reading the blurb.

I don't recommend it. Props on the cover art though. It caught my eye and I really like the design of it.

Maybe if you went to a school like this, with people like this, you'll relate to it more than I did.

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN! Mini Review: Southern Fried Wiccan by S.P. Sipal

Title: Southern Fried Wiccan
Author: S.P. Sipal
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: March 24th 2015
Source: Publisher


Book Description:

Cilla Swaney is thrilled to return stateside, where she can hang up her military-brat boots for good. Finally, she’ll be free to explore her own interests—magick and Wicca. But when she arrives at her grandma’s farm, Cilla discovers that life in the South isn’t quite what she expected. At least while country hopping, she never had to drink G-ma’s crazy fermented concoctions, attend church youth group, make co-op deliveries...or share her locker with a snake-loving, fire-lighting, grimoire-stealing Goth girl…

…Who later invites her to a coven that Cilla’s not sure she has the guts to attend. But then Emilio, the dark-haired hottie from her charter school, shows up and awakens her inner goddess. Finally, Cilla starts believing in her ability to conjure magick. Until…

…All Hades breaks loose. A prank goes wrong during their high school production of Macbeth, and although it seems Emilio is to blame, Cilla and Goth pay the price. Will Cilla be able to keep the boy, her coven, and the trust of her family? Or will this Southern Wiccan get battered and fried?

Review:

★

This review will be short and to the point, because I hate to give one star reviews.

I didn't care for the main character. She was super judgmental of people from the get go, and she was always whining about something. It was super off putting, and before long I wasn't concerned about her story or what happened to her.

There weren't enough Wiccan components for me. I wasn't expecting wizard spells and magic (the way some other readers seem to have, for some reason) but, I was expecting more of her development, based on the title and blurb. It was mostly just teenage YA stuff you've read before. As a pagan myself, I was disappointed.

Review: The Facebook Diet by Gemini Adams

Title: The Facebook Diet: 50 Funny Signs of Facebook Addiction and Ways to Unplug with a Digital Detox

Author: Gemini Adams

Format: Spiral-bound, 175 pages

Pub. Date: January 1st 2014

Source: TT @ Never Ending Stories



Book Description via Goodreads:

Award-winning author and illustrator, Gemini Adams, inspires us to examine the health of our high-tech habits in this entertaining gift book with a tongue-in-cheek look at our love of social media.

This Mom's Choice Gold Award winning book features a series of 50 hilarious cartoons that complete the question, "You Know You're a Facebook Addict When...?" in which Adams cleverly illustrates the more idiotic, embarrassing and cringe-worthy behaviors of our social networking excess.

Packed with funny digital detox tips that gently 'poke' at readers to unplug once in a while, this laugh-out-loud gift book is guaranteed to bring a smile of recognition to Facebook junkies everywhere!

Review:

★

This is one of those rare times where I feel like I read an entirely different book than everyone else. I didn't find it funny at all. It's not that I didn't get where the humor was supposed to be, I got it. It just wasn't funny. The first half of the book is completions to the sentence "You might be addicted to Facebook if..." The second half is a "diet" of how to stop logging so much time online.

First of all, I didn't care for the illustrations. I thought they were pretty badly done. Plus, it was unnecessarily crass more than once. Regular readers of my reviews know I'm no prude: I read quite a lot of erotica and the like. So it's not an "I'm offended" thing. But there were two drawings of female nudity that didn't add anything- it wasn't funny. There's also a toilet with stink lines. Classy.

This book is already a few years old, and it shows. There's a few "jokes" about poking.... Do people still poke? That was a thing when Facebook first got popular but I honestly forgot that was even a feature.

Some of them weren't even worth a smile. Such as, the guy with a gun to his head at his birthday party because he didn't get enough birthday wishes on his wall. (See the above note about being dated- it's a timeline, not a wall). There's one about needing therapy after reading about perfect friends- that's an actual study being done, because that shit actually DOES lead to depression.

Some of them just aren't accurate, in addition to not being funny. Wrist strain, for example, is not Facebook-specific. There's one that says you've given up addictions like smoking and drinking to Facebook. Because one can't drink at a desk?

Some of them actually sound like people who have never had Facebook before, not addicts. One says "you don't know where your privacy settings are". If you're addicted, you know EVERYTHING about these filters, and you've made lists and posts locked to certain people that now by this point, you can censor yourself with ease. Also, that you send friend requests to everyone. Nope. That shit's not safe. There's a difference between being addicted, and being clueless as to how the interwebs work.

The second half is full of mostly silly and overdramatic for humor's sake things that one can do instead of being on Facebook, like being a PI so you can stalk people in real life. Not really funny, but I get what they were going for. However, in this "diet" that stresses unplugging and going outside, they actually promote other websites...... What? Seriously?

I honestly have no idea who this book is for. It's not for young addicts, that's for sure. The only demographic I can maybe see getting a chuckle out of this book are those old relatives who don't really know how things work, but still won't get off of Facebook.

I don't recommend it as a gift or a stocking stuffer, unless you know a woman as oblivious as this book is.

Graphic Novel Review Roundup: Manga Edition

Title: One is Enough
Author: Love Robert
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: July 8th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Diamond Book Distributors
Buy Now: Amazon

★

One Star.

One is Enough is a quick-read graphic novel about sixteen year old Matsumoto-kun. When he runs into, literally, his senpai Mizushima-kun, he wants to make it up to him. Lines quickly become blurred and the boy must decide how far he's willing to go.

This review is going to be short and sweet. I picked up this book because I'm slowly getting into manga, and I like the idea of senpai-related relationships. Unfortunately, this one didn't meet my expectations. The artwork, well, it wasn't very good for a published graphic novel. It was bland, with a plot to match. I was expecting this taboo, steamy relationship but what I was left with was a boring, flat story that wasn't really anything new or interesting. I really wanted to like it, but this just didn't satisfy me on any level.



Title: Manga Classics: Les Miserables
Author: Stacy King, Tszmei Lee, Victor Hugo
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: August 12 2014
Source: Netgalley & Udon Entertainment
Buy Now: Amazon

★★★★

Four stars.

Les Miserables is a classic novel that has been adapted so many times into films, books, plays, and so much more. It's one of my favorite musicals and a stellar book. When I saw that it had been given the manga treatment, I absolutely could not resist picking it up, and I'm very glad I did.

I was very pleasantly surprised at how well Victor Hugo's 1000+ page masterpiece was condensed into a 300-something page graphic novel. I thought that, upon first picking up, that surely they'd have to take huge chunks of story out. Of course stuff is going to be missing, but I'm astounded that the full story, give or take, remained in this adaptation.

The artwork is well done (very similar to that found on the cover), and the writing is too. It was a fairly easy read, and if you've read the novel before, this makes a nice little complement/refresher. If you are a fan of this story and of graphic novels, this is a book you should pick up for sure. Or, if you're intimidated by the length of Hugo's book (I don't blame you), this is a good first stepping stone to familiarize yourself with the general plot and characters.



Title: Manga Classics: Pride & Prejudice
Author: Stacy King, Po Tse, Jane Austen
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: August 12 2014
Source: Netgalley & Udon Entertainment

Buy Now: Amazon

★★★★

Four and a half stars.

I'm going to start this review off with a confession that might make me seem like a bad bibliophile: I'm not a big fan of Jane Austen. I know that they are classics. I know that they are bestsellers. I know that they have adoring fans. I just have never really loved any of them (although, to be fair, I've only ever read them as an assignment in school). However, when I saw the pretty cover of this manga edition, I decided to give it a shot. I'm very glad I did!

This adaptation gets all the major plot points across while keeping the bulk of the text rather simple and light. It made it easier to read and understand, without having to study intricacies. Plus, I absolutely loved the art. It wasn't super detailed, and yet it still managed to convey the sense of elegance and femininity that most readers associate with Austen's work. It was cute.

If you're an Austen fan, this version of a revered story is worth checking out. If you aren't her biggest fan, like me, I still recommend it: I think I may try to read the original text again to see if my views on it have improved at all.

Thank you to Netgalley & Diamond Book Distributors & Udon Entertainment who provided me with digital copies of these books in exchange for my honest reviews.

Review: Big Fat Disaster by Beth Fehlbaum

Title: Big Fat Disaster
Author: Beth Fehlbaum
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: April 18th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Merit Press

★

One Star.

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Colby Denton is the less than perfect daughter of an up and coming politician, something her family never lets her forget. Her sisters are perfect, but her family is ashamed of her being in the limelight because of her size. Her world starts to come apart when she finds out that her father has been lying and stealing. Forced to move into the trailer on her cousin's property, she must face new obstacles like bullying, school politics, suicide, and self-worth and acceptance in a new town.

This book y'all. This. Book. It had me in rage-tears. It made me so ridiculously angry, you have no idea. I took about six pages of hand-written, venting notes and observations on this one. That being said, I have taken some time to cool off so that I may write a respectful and professional review. I'll try my best to refrain from spoilers.

I was really excited to read this one. In theory, I should have related to it on a lot of different levels. I'm plus sized. I have a father who left us for another family and lied about money so that we had to move in with family. But this novel just didn't click with me at all. Shall we begin?

I didn't like any of the characters, and that includes Colby. She's the main character, and I ought to have felt sympathy and compassion for her, but I found her to be just as bad as the rest of them. Her family is constantly belittling her and calling her uncreative insults like "fat" at every waking turn. Even the other heavy girl in the family makes comments about it. Almost all of her teachers for some reason hate her, and the whole school makes fun of her because she's in knock off clothes. I could have maybe dealt with that. But Colby is constantly talking shit to/about her little sister, she refers to her mom's willingness to go shopping for her at garage sales when they have no money as "dumpster diving". There's a whole lot of shaming going on. They almost all feel like villains, in a kind of melodramatic way. I've been in Colby's shoes, and I've never seen such across the board horrid beings. The family members all blame her aunt for her abuse, the cousin for his defending a girl getting raped, and even Colby's mom for getting dumped. That's not even mentioning the people at school.

I also feel like she brought a lot of this onto herself. And no, I'm not talking about her eating disorder, binge eating. She puts on clothes that are way too tight and gets made fun of for it and hurts herself in the process because she won't tell her mom they don't fit. She speaks her mind at horrible times, and has to pay the price. She lies. It's awful.

On the topic of her eating disorder, I felt like it was added as an after thought when I expected it to be a more central theme. It really, in my opinion, just served to open her up to everyone's hatred. It would go unmentioned long enough that I'd forget (not about her size- that's mentioned constantly, but her disorder), and then would have to think "oh yeah, she has that."

Similarly, there are a lot of heavy topics mentioned in this book that are treated fairly blase in a soap-opera like drama instead of being given the care, tact, and respect they deserve. Eating disorders, suicide, bullying, cyberbullying, abuse, rape, slut shaming, class shaming, this book has it all. There's so much mentioned, but I don't feel like any of them were thoroughly explored or attended to. A video of Colby goes viral, and her mom actually blames her for being fat. Because if she weren't fat, she wouldn't have been filmed. What? The one character that I did like, who called characters out on their bullshit the way they deserved, dies out of nowhere and that upset me too. Not because he died, but because it seemed so needless.

This could have all maybe been leading up to some greater resolution, where differences are resolved and tensions simmer down and Everyone learns something. Nope. Colby starts to sort of come around towards the end, maybe, and then the book ends. I didn't like her anymore at the end of the novel than I did at the beginning. I felt like I read all this drama and conflict for naught.

This wasn't the book for me. If rape, abuse, suicide, or eating disorders are a trigger for you, please read this with caution. In short, it was too much drama and not enough likable characters. Be warned that this has a lot of serious themes and vulgar language. Maybe you'll like it better than I did. Thanks to Netgalley & Merit Press for my chance to read this.

Mini Review: Circus Escape

Title: Circus Escape
Author: Lilliana Rose
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: April 2nd 2014
Source: Netgalley & Less Than Three Press

★

One Star.

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This will be a short review, since Circus Escape is a novella. I was drawn in by the cover, and some of the key words in the description that I love. Steampunk, circus, lesbian themes? Sign me up. Unfortunately, this is a novella that leaves a lot to be desired, and I was left disappointed.

I never got a sense of... Anything, really. I didn't grow to know much about either of the main characters, let alone get a sense of the chemistry that is supposed to be between them. I didn't learn much about the setting or the era. I know that this is a short novella, so there's only so much space to describe such things, but I've seen others handled much better. I also didn't care much for the writing itself, it seemed overly simple and a bit choppy.

It's my understanding that this novella is the first in a series, but Circus Escape didn't satisfy me enough to be interested in continuing onward with the series. This might be one of the examples where it would have been better in a one piece book as opposed to a series. All in all, this one just wasn't for me.

Thanks to Netgalley and Less Than Three Press for the chance to read this. I wanted to like it, I really did.

Review: Twigs by Alison Ashley Formento

Title: Twigs
Author: by Alison Ashley Formento
Format: Hardcover, 272 pages
Pub. Date: September 18th 2013
Source: Goodreads First Reads

★

One star.

Twigs is a small girl with a big load of problems. Her mother is starting to date again, her father walked out on the family, and her little sister is focused on the dating and games that come along with high school. Things only intensify when a crazy woman comes into her work, and things get worse from there when she gets the news that her older brother is missing in Iraq. Twigs has to put herself to the test to keep it all together and to fight for what's important to her.

---

I wanted to like this book. I did. I was excited to receive it from the Goodreads First Reads program. However the title character, Twigs, made this nearly impossible for me to do so.

One of the things that turns me off of a book the fastest is slut-shaming, and it was clearly a theme in this book. Twigs makes all sorts of snap judgments about women, including her sister and mother, because they have men in their lives. I found this especially irritating in regards to her mother, who is actually dating Lou. Not sleeping around, not having wild orgies in the living room. Dating. Bitter much?

And while we're on the topic of her mom and Lou, Twigs comes off as an extremely rude character. She calls him Deaf Lou. Creatively, this is because he's deaf. Is that really necessary? Would she have called him Fat Lou or Lazy Eye Lou? It's disrespectful and really shows off her true colors, in my opinion.

Another reason why I found Twigs rude and unlikable is because she down talks her college. She goes to a community college that is a lot of students' last resort. We have a college like this in my town too. But she makes a lot of remarks about the people who go there and how it's a joke and a stepping stone and things like that. First off, you go there. Have some self-respect. Good for the people who go there who are trying to do something better with their education. I don't think that's something that's ridicule-worthy. As someone who has had to take breaks from school due to financial hardships, this struck a bad chord with me for sure.

As for Twigs' height, I think it's great that the author gave her lead girl a "flaw" and made it a part of the story. It just wasn't realistic to me, though. I'm barely over five foot myself, and I have never had a stranger comment about my height, even during an unpleasant exchange. Family and friends? Sure. But strangers don't really care, at least in my experiences.

And then there's Helen. The supposed-to-be-lovable-crazy-woman that goes on a tirade at the drug store after she found out her husband was with somebody else. She proceeds to steal his car, and get Twigs involved in other such shenanigans. This may have been quirky to some, but it was all kinds of red flags and disturbing to me. Namely because I've had one of my dad's exes stalk us. It's not cute. It's uncomfortable and unsettling to just see her places, or to find notes taped to your windows.

I'm not even going to get in depth about the amount of drama in this book, because I think that some readers will find it engaging. I personally however found it to be too much, especially when I'm not all too fond of the characters involved with it all.

This is a young adult contemporary genre book. If you enjoy books with a lot of drama or short protagonists, this might be for you, but it wasn't a book for me. Thanks to Goodreads First Reads for my copy.

Review: Office Toy

Title: Office Toy (Office Toy #1)
Author: Cleo Peitsche
Format: egalley edition
Pub. Date: October 21st 2012
Source: Netgalley and Pouch Productions

★

One star.

Elle has a very important interview with Cunningham, and it doesn't start well, with the secretary serving her gross coffee and grumbling at her. But when the interview begins, Cunningham gets her out of her clothes to be fitted for new ones, and soon he and three other guys have taken claim to Elle in the office.

-----

This book is not even erotica, it's porn. So, know that before continuing with my review.

Now, let me just say, what?

The girl has no personality other than sex deprived submissive, and the men have none other than over sexed successful business men (Ana & Christian, anyone?).

This office screens its applicants for not only STDs, but gives psych evaluations to see who best fits into their little "game" of an office. Did I mention that this office has a convenient sex room, fitted with toys, chains, and furniture? Well it does!

Elle starts off with reservations, but somehow in the course of one short scene with three men, she becomes the queen of deep throating. That's important too, since all three guys are equipped with XXL sized members. They have to break her in and teach her to sacrifice her comfort for them, and the company.

And then it gets a little un-consensual. The boys start preparing her behind and her first, instinctive reaction (for the first time in this random unprofessional orgy) is "No." Instead of stopping or taking that as a red flag, Cunningham shooshes her and continues.

All three of these men are also, for some reason, devastatingly good looking and all want this same random girl.

I hate to say this, but maybe if it had been part of a full length novel a la 50 Shades, I could have overlooked the scene. But these men are bad examples of Doms, and will give girls the wrong idea about how Doms are supposed to be, instead of fueling them with some sort of fantasy, which I assume was the initial purpose in writing this story.

This book is less than 30 pages long, with 95% containing graphic M/M/M/F sex scenes. If you are looking for a short porn, then this is maybe for you. But if you like substance, a bit of plot, and any amount of realism in your naughty reads, this is a big ole pass.

Thanks to Netgalley and Pouch Productions for my copy.

Kids' Book Roundup

Hello lovelies. Today I bring you a different kind of blog post: children's books! You see, my girlfriend (as I type) is "cleaning" her room. Also known as: is living in nostalgia and showing me things from her youth. So what am I doing while this is happening? Am I reading the beta books that I should be? Nope. I'm helping her sort books, and I'm reading some too. This post is going to be full of whatever picture/beginner books I happen to read.


Title: The Ledgerbook of Thomas Blue Eagle
Editor: Jewel Grutman, Thomasson Grant
Format: Hardcover, 72 pages
Pub. Date: August 6th 1996
Source: Emily's room

★★★★★

This book tells the story of Thomas Blue Eagle, and his life as a Native American on the plains. After a battle, he is asked to move to Pennsylvania to attend a school to learn the ways of the white man. Though fictional, this illustrated book gives a historically accurate insight into the life of a young native. The illustrations are beautiful, and look as though they were done by a child in a spiral notebook. Equal parts informative and emotional, this is a great read for kids.

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Title: Clifford's Kitten
Editor: Norman Bridwell
Format: Paperback, 32 pages
Pub. Date: January 1st 1992
Source: Emily's room

★★★

This is a cute book about who else- Clifford the big red dog! Emily Elizabeth finds a kitten and the normally red Clifford gets a bit green with envy, and finds himself in all sorts of shenanigans when he tries to fit in with the new feline. This is a cute read but there's not much to it- it's not a must have for kids.

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Title: Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?
Editor: Dr. Seuss
Format: Hardcover, 27 pages
Pub. Date: August 12th 1970
Source: Emily's room

★

This book follows Mr. Brown as he makes noises.

It is annoying for kiddos
And adult readers too
I do not need a book
To tell me to moo.
This is a book I will not be getting for my children in the future, lest I get headaches.

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Title: No Copycats Allowed!
Editor: Bonnie Graves
Format: Paperback, 64 pages
Pub. Date: April 15th 1998
Source: Emily's room

★★★★

Gabrielle doesn't want to go into Room 6 with mean old teacher Mrs. Dean. She just moved out of the city and into the suburbs, and has heard rumors that the kids from Room 6 aren't so nice. Her fears are reaffirmed when they tell her that her name is weird, and too long. Eager for friends, she tries to blend in with the other girls in her class by changing her name's spelling and even wearing her hair different. Labelled a "copycat", Gabrielle has to learn that being brave and being yourself is the best way to make friends.

I actually really enjoyed this read. Aimed for second/third grade readers, this small chapter book has a positive message. It doesn't matter what your name is, where you come from, or even what hobbies you have. The most important thing is to never sacrifice your individuality to impress people.

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Title: The Velveteen Rabbit
Editor: Margery Williams
Format: Paperback, 40 pages
Pub. Date: April 1st 1987
Source: Emily's room

★★★★★

This is a book that every child should read or own. The Boy gets a new toy, the velveteen rabbit, and soon finds that he cannot even sleep without it. He loves the rabbit until its fur is shaggy and its seams are popping. The velveteen rabbit teaches a valuable lesson on being loved, realism, and what happens to things that are lost to us.

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Title: Millions of Cats
Editor: Wanda Gág
Format: Paperback, 32 pages
Pub. Date:October 5th 2006
Source: Emily's room

★★★

A very old man and a very old woman are terribly lonely. The old woman suggests that the man go and get a cat, to make their lives less sad. He wanders along and finds a group of MILLIONS of cats. He wants to pick just one beautiful kitty, but soon finds that they're all too beautiful, and must take them all. The old woman, the old man, and the reader will learn that what's pretty isn't always what's best, and don't just a kitty by his fur.

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Title: Find the Cat
Editor: Elaine Livermore
Format: Hardcover, 46 pages
Pub. Date:February 1st 1973
Source: Emily's room

★★★

This is a fun and whimsical search-and-find book, regarding a dog who is rather angry and searching for the cat, who hid his bone. Admittedly, one of the illustrations tricked even me for a moment! I love the pictures, but the text is really only "Find the cat."

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Title: Stranger in the Woods: A Photographic Fantasy
Editor: Carl R. Sams II, Jean Stoick
Format: Hardcover, 48 pages
Pub. Date:November 28th 1999
Source: Emily's room

★★★★

Stranger in the Woods is the story of woodland critters who find a mysterious creature made of snow in their forest. The text leaves a bit to be desired, voicing the opinions and worries of all of the animals. However, the photography within this book is simply beautiful. These wintery landscapes are stunning, and I admittedly looked more to them than I did at the text! This is a great Christmastime read for a child of any age.

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Title: The Rainbow Fish
Editor: Marcus Pfister
Format: Hardcover, 24 pages
Pub. Date:January 27th 1999
Source: Emily's room

★★★★★

This kids' book will always be a favorite of mine. The rainbow fish is the most beautiful fish in the sea, with scales that shimmer in every color. But he's also very vain, and when a little fish asks for a shimmering scale, the rainbow fish says no! Then he learns that people won't want to be with him if he's selfish. In the end, he learns that sharing is the ultimate source of happiness. With beautiful illustrations and an important message, every child should have this book.

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Title: Clifford Takes A Trip
Editor: Norman Bridwell
Format: Paperback, 32 pages
Pub. Date:January 1st 1992
Source: Emily's room

★★★★

In true Clifford style, the familiar big red dog just CAN'T be without his loving owner, Emily Elizabeth, while she goes on a family vacation. Lonely, nothing will stop him from finding her- and when he does (with some mischief on the way) he might just be in time to save the day! This is a cute read that shows just how important we humans are to our canine counterparts.

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How NOT to Train a Zombie by Annie Rachel Cole

Title: How NOT to Train a Zombie
Author: Annie Rachel Cole
Format: Paperback, 182 pages
Pub. Date: February 10th 2013
Source: Word Spelunking blog

★

One star.

The science fair is coming up, and for eight grader Max that means one thing- a chance to become one of the most popular kids in school. The catch? Well.... He's going to have to break at least a dozen rules and laws. But in the end it'll be worth it, if he can just catch and train a zombie... Won't it?

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As with most zombie books, I was hoping that this would be the one to turn me. I thought that by maybe going towards a middle grade age, I would find the zombie genre cuter and more endearing. Unfortunately, my streak of bad zombie books continues. This book is written like an episode of Scooby-Doo... If Shaggy wasn't a cowardly lovable character.

-The lead character, Max, is a jerk. And he continues to be throughout the entire course of the book. It starts with him trying to peer pressure his best friend Chad into doing something against the law- catching a zombie and keeping it in his home. Max somehow paints Chad into the bad guy, even though he stood up for his morals and said that being popular wasn't everything, and that Max should just be himself. Then there's the fact that he hates on his mom for seemingly no reason. He's embarrassed to the point of anger because she.... Gardens? Not drugs, not stripping. But gardening. What?. Then, not unlike Golum from the Lord of the Rings, he becomes obsessed with obtaining a zombie. So, he decides to partner up with the class geek, since his dad is a certified zombie catcher. Eddy, the geek, makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with zombies, and yet Max emotionally manipulates him by using his dead mother into doing things that will only benefit Max. Time goes by, and a zombie is eventually obtained. Even when the geek agrees to help Max despite their falling out Max is still rude and insulting. Let the zombies get him, I say.

-Stemming off of that, this book isn't very believable. And yes, I am saying that about a zombie book. But the surrealism has naught to do with the undead, but the living. Max is supposedly this bottom of the totem pole level of popularity. Yet, when the bully (using gay jokes, naturally) starts trouble with him, he smarts off. Not only that, but he smarts off and then doesn't get his butt kicked..... If he's such a weenie, he wouldn't have been so, forgive my language, ballsy. And even if he was, the bully would have NO DOUBT found him. No convenient distractions or anything. Bullies fight. That's what they do. And then there's his mother's involvement with his friendships. My mother never questioned me when I stopped hanging out with people, just when I started hanging out with new ones.

-This book, ultimately, had a negative tone to it throughout. Max is a jerk, his best friend is somehow portrayed as one, his mom is portrayed as one, Eddy is snippy, and his dad is a villain out of no where (who actually uses the phrase "meddling brats"). It all seemed a bit thrown together and dark, with no major happy resolve...

-Unless you count the epilogue, which I do not, since it was essentially just a few pages to connect loose ends that weren't handled in the actual plot.

-+There's a few grammatical errors in the text, but it wasn't enough to deter from the story.

+Despite my issues with this story, I did like that each chapter started with a Texas state law or public service announcement regarding the dangers of zombies and the consequences of interacting with them. It gave a clear insight into the type of society this book is set in, and how much trouble Max was going to be in if he got caught.

Maybe I'm just a cynical old person now who can't appreciate kid's literature. However, I couldn't get past Max's insufferable-ness, and it disconnected me from the majority of the book. If I were to recommend this, it would be to kids/young adults in junior high, namely boys. I appreciate the concept of this story, but for me it just fell flat.

Thank you to Word Spelunking blog and the author for my copy.

Forbidden Boy by Hailey Abbott

Title: Forbidden Boy
Author: Hailey Abbott
Format: Paperback, 256 pages
Pub. Date: April 22nd 2008
Source: Cover2Cover blog

★

One star.

It's summer, and Julianne has some serious plans for fun and relaxation. She's going to try and ignore the tensions at home.... Mansions are being put up each and every day, and the owners are trying to bully the family into selling their home to be part of another vast expansion that they don't need. Their newest neighbors are especially pushy, but who needs them? She's got her projects, and her beach, and summer is calling her name. That is until she meets this dreamy boy, Remi. She's so excited and smitten, but there's one problem- Remi is the son of their bullying neighbors. What's a girl to do, and what's the cost of the perfect summer romance?

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I don't really know where to begin, but I'm going to try and keep this short and professional. Even though I'm raging on the inside and want to rant for the rest of my review.

-The relationship Julianne has with her sister in this story is ludicrous. Who are all of these authors that think that sisters are either absolute best friends or sworn enemies? There is a middle ground, you know. Her sister tries to get her to make out with boys in order to relive stress, and Julianna doesn't find this at all strange or intrusive. Ew. Maybe it's just me, but if my sister was like that, I'd probably flip her off and walk away, not grab a beer and have a giggle fest.

-All of the conversations in this book sound forced and fake. The slang between characters is awful, like something in a Saturday Night Live skit. I never bought into the realism that this realistic fiction eluded to, and preferred the plot when no one was talking.

-The title of this book is Forbidden Boy. That would lead the reader to assume that a boy is, well. Forbidden. I enjoy this type of romance. Take the book [book:Forbidden|7600924], where the lovers in question are brother and sister. Or even Romeo and Juliet, which also involved feuding neighbors. Only, they'd die. That makes their love a bit more forbidden. Just a smidge. This has cranky neighbors. There's nothing forbidden about him. Frowned upon, perhaps. But this isn't at all my definition of "forbidden."

-Instant love. That magical moment when everything in the universe aligns and a boy and a girl, in the most hormone filled time of their life, know that everything will be perfect with that other person. Sigh.

+The cover is pretty. I give it that.

All in all I found this to be a bad attempt at a quick beach/summer read. Maybe I'm just getting old or maybe it's because I'm not a "prep", but I didn't care much for this at all. I'd recommend it for maybe the younger end of young adult. If you read true forbidden romance, or are any kind of alternative stereotype (goth, punk, what have you), I would skip this.

Thank you to Cover2Cover blog for my copy.

Foreplay by Tammy Valentine

Title: Foreplay
Author: Tammy Valentine
Format: ebook, 15 pages
Pub. Date: January 13th 2011
Source: Susan Frances' blog

★

One Star

Izzy Morgan is a prude, and after she discovers that her friend Jessica has a cool ability- being able to guess a man's actions and desires in bed based on their astrological horoscope sign- her group of friends decides to take her through a man from each sign. It is a plan for a year to help her learn by practice and experimentation, all thanks to Jessica's help.

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-Nowhere on the book's page does it say that this is an introduction or an excerpt. This book is roughly 15 pages. This doesn't even constitute a novella, in my opinion. It's more like one conversation. It felt like one chapter of a potentially good book, or one laugh track filled scene from an episode of Sex and the City.

-Because it's so short, it was really vague. There was next to no detail, forced dialogue, and no character development. I didn't care what Izzy and her friends did.

-There's nothing dirty in it. There's a few crass jokes and a short scene at the beginning, but it was far from erotic.

+I do give props to the author for using anatomically correct words in the aforementioned scene. A lot of authors use euphemisms that just make the bad writing even worse.

If this were a teaser or an excerpt, then I would like to read this. But unfortunately it's the start of a series, and so I must treat it as though it was written as a stand alone novella, since there is nothing to indicate that it is otherwise.

Skip it. That's my opinion. If you want a really fast read, then maybe you'll like this. But I can't really recommend it more specifically than that.

Thank you to Susan Frances' blog for my digital copy.

Hot Buttons Sexuality Edition by Nicole O'Dell

Title: Hot Buttons Sexuality Edition (Hot Buttons #3)
Author: Nicole O'Dell
Format: Paperback, 172 pages
Pub. Date: October 2012
Source: Goodreads First Reads

★

One star.

I received this through Goodreads First Reads.

I can't possibly review this fully without saying mean things that I'll regret, so I'll try to keep it professional.

First, I didn't realize that this was a Christian/faith based books. And that, frankly, is my fault. Had I known, I wouldn't have bothered entering for it.

Long story short, this book is full of paraphrased/updated Bible quotes applied to sexual relationships. This book stresses a "pure until marriage" lifestyle and quite honestly, doesn't do a good job in answering the so-called "important questions" that teens "are asking."

First of all, who are the teens that are asking these things? They have to be sheltered. Most teens don't want to talk to their parents about the weather, let alone sex and advice about it. Unless you keep your kids in a Saran wrap bubble, they're going to read things, watch things, and learn things. It is inevitable. I am not anti-Christian. I don't follow Christianity myself, but I've no ill will to those who do. But the way to help your child is not to make sex seem disgusting and shameful and preach purity. Nor is it to answer with a Bible quote.

But, the reason I will never recommend this book is for the homosexuality chapter. While I respect the overall message of "Jesus loved the sinner, just not the sin", I think it's absurd that the author suggests things such as prohibiting tv or movies that portray homosexuality in a positive light, limiting friendships with gay friends, and prohibiting your children from getting into a situation that may "tempt them to try out a homosexual relationship." Seriously? Because homosexuality is an obvious choice that we all get tempted into. I know that my first gay experience, I was alone too long with a girl and thought to myself, you know what would be fun? Sex with girls. (Sarcasm. Since I know not everyone will comprehend that). I think it's extremely hypocritical to say that Jesus loves you, but never ever let your kids watch about it on tv lest they be tempted to try it. And to add to it, this "help" book uses the New International Version, and not the King James version. I didn't realize that the NIV has changed the Bible quote to read: "'Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman." Whereas, the KJV says: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind. People often ask me why I don't take the Bible as my Word. That is your answer. It is randomly updated and changed around so much that I can't possibly start to pick and choose what was meant versus what has been "wrongly changed".

If you're a Christian, maybe this book will mean something to you. If you're gay or non-Christian, don't even bother reading the first page. It's preachy, and quite honestly, unhelpful. I personally feel that if even if I were a Christian, this book would provide little parenting information.

Masquerade by Sheri Whitefeather

Title: Masquerade
Author: Sheri Whitefeather
Format: Paperback, 304 pages
Pub. Date: April 6th 2010
Source: Ramblings From This Chick blog

★

One star.

Amber is a fashion heiress and socialite. She shared a night a while back with two lovers, Jay and Luke, and she can't get either of them out of her mind. She agrees to live with the steamy roommates for a month, and the boys are all too happy to complete the threesome. That is, until Luke uncovers Amber's family tree, which involves a scandalous love affair and murder. The past comes to light and starts to repeat itself, leaving Amber to decide who she should be with, and the risks of falling in love.

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This is going to be a short review, to make it as painless as possible.

-I didn't connect to Amber. It's the typical spoiled brat who has too much of a good thing but can't part with anything. First world problems much. Two gorgeous guys want you. Shut up and be happy.

-The sex scenes felt awkward to me. There's a fine line between steamy romance and awkward third wheels. I felt that this book was largely the latter, and I didn't want to continue to read them.

-The book flips between the past royal scandal and the current life of Amber. You can tell because the past is in italics. Pages of it. It bothered me to read that much italics. I don't think it was necessary, a chapter titled with the perspective would have sufficed just fine.

-On that note, I think the scandal is what made this book so hard to read. Make a book in the past or make a book in the present. Stop flipping back and forth. It helped the disconnect from the characters that I felt.

+- The cover is pretty, but it makes the book look a lot more intimate than I personally felt while reading.

Maybe I'm just picky, but this is yet another adult themed book that just left me sighing and disappointed. I say skip it. If you're a superfan of threesomes, maybe you'll enjoy it. But my advice is to simply pass.

Thank you to Ramblings From This Chick blog for my copy.

Strindberg's Star by Jan Wallentin

Title: Strindberg's Star
Author: Jan Wallentin
Format: Hardcover, 447 pages
Pub. Date: May 24th 2012
Source: Goodreads First Reads

★

One star.

I received this book through Goodreads First Reads.

Normally, this isn't my kind of genre. But the description for this giveaway boasted "Lisbeth Salander meets Robert Langdon!" A fan of the Millennium trilogy, as well as Angels & Demons, I decided to give this a shot. Instead, I was reminded why I steer away.

The writing is far from smooth. It switches between characters & plot lines like crazy, & I found it hard to follow. This is in addition to a far-fetched plot & characters that have absolutely no personality. It was muddled with information without good transitions, & I found myself not caring at all about the well being of the characters. To me, this books was all over, sloppy, & uninteresting.

The only parts that I found semi-interesting to read about were the parts concerning World War II.

As far as the whole "Lisbeth Salander meets Robert Langdon!" promise? Hardly. I suppose this was given because there's a troubled girl on a motorcycle (Lisbeth?) & an academic male (Langdon?). Unfortunately, it's like comparing Twilight to Dracula simply because both have vampires- a comparison that just shouldn't be made.

If this is your kind of genre, great, maybe you'll like it. But if you're on the edge, I'd pick up something else instead.