Review: Miss You Love You Hate You Bye by Abby Sher

Title: Miss You Love You Hate You Bye
Author: Abby Sher
Format: Paperback ARC
Pub. Date: February 18th 2020
Source: The Windy Pages


Book Description:

Zoe and Hank (short for Hannah) have been inseparable since they met in elementary school. The leader of the pack, Zoe is effortlessly popular while Hank hides comfortably in her shadow. But when Zoe's parents unexpectedly divorce, Zoe's perfect facade starts cracking little by little. Sinking under the weight of her broken family, Zoe develops an eating disorder. Now she must rely on Hank for help.

Hank struggles to help Zoe; after all, she is used to agreeing, not leading. How can she help her best friend get better before it's too late?

Written partially in letters from Zoe and mostly in narrative from Hank's perspective, Miss You Love You Hate You Bye is a poignant and eye-opening novel about friendship, mental health, and learning to put yourself first.

Review:

★★

I wanted to like this book. I really did. I think books on young adult mental health are so, so important. But this one fell flat for me and I was left disappointed.

The book is written in almost duel perspective. It's 90% from the main character, Hannah's, point of view. Every so often there's a letter written by Zoe to break things up. While I understand why it's written from both sides, I didn't care for the letters aspect and would have just preferred duel POVs as things were actually happening. Because of the letters, we start right off the bat knowing what Zoe's fate is. We know she's in a hospital/treatment center. We know she's mad at Hannah, and we know that ultimately, she's okay. Because of this, it made me less interested in the story from the get-go, because I had the resolution before I even know the story.

I didn't care for either character. Zoe is manic and struggling and a hot mess. She's dealing with a lot- ADHD, learning problems, her parents' divorce, her eating disorder. But we never really get too much of her side of why she's acting this way. Then there's Hannah, who has a complete do nothing attitude about almost everything in her life. She does whatever Zoe tells her to, always. That's all of her personality, even according to her: she's Hannah's friend. She notices eating habits but doesn't say anything. She is unhappy but doesn't say anything. She is negative about everything. She's rude AF to her mom's boyfriend even though he's nice and kind and her mom is happy (which she resents, even though she admits he's nice) and it has been years. Even her mom eventually calls her on the fact that she's like this, which I appreciated.

Both of their inner voices felt like they were done in "adult" voices (Hannah uses words like "hirsute" in her head, for example) but their out-loud dialogue sounded like middle school- very "OMG like cringe". They're high schoolers. This back and forth of writing style/voice was a bit jarring in places.

I wish the book would have been more about Zoe. She's the one with the disorder and struggling and yet she's not really what the book is about. I appreciate that some aspects of eating disorders and mental health and self-harm were realistically portrayed in all their ugliness. It's not all therapy and sadness, it can be mania and spiraling out.

But I just found myself bored, uninterested, and wanting it to be over. There's so much happening but so little of it gets closure. It feels disconnected and almost random.

I really like that this book is about platonic friendship. There's no romance component (albeit a kiss that felt forced and unnecessary for the plot), it's just a story about friendship and I think there should be more of that.

I also think the cover is super cute, but, obviously that has nothing to do with the plot.

I think there is a need and a space for YA books about hard topics like this. But I also think that there a lot of books already out there that cover them better than this book does. If it relates to one person, or helps someone find courage to talk to someone, than this book will have been worth writing.

But I am not that person, and this book wasn't for me. Be warned, this book contains drug use, eating disorders, self-harm, and other topics that might be tough to read for some people.

Review: 30-Minute Meals 2 by Rachael Ray

Title: 30-Minute Meals 2
Author: Rachael Ray
Format: Paperback, 192 pages
Pub. Date: May 22nd 2003
Source: Little Library


Book Description:

Rachael pulls out all the stops in this best-selling collection of recipes. You'll find menus complete with mains, sides, and desserts, tailored for any occasion. Sections include: Make Your Own Take-Out, Monday Thru Friday Dinner Specials, Family-Style Suppers, Double-Duty Dinners, Passport Meals, Big Nights: Very Special Dinners, and Healthy Hunger Busters. Eating Healthy? Try a meat-free meal featuring Ravioli Vegetable Lasagna, Romaine Hearts with Lemon Chive Vinaigrette, and Fresh Oranges with Lime Sorbet. Have hard-to-please kids? We promise you they'll eat Meatball and Macaroni Soup, Grilled 4-Cheese Sandwiches and Chocolate-Dipped Bananas. Over 1.5 million sold!

Review:

★★


I don't know what I expected from this cookbook, but what I got certainly wasn't it. I understand that the whole point of this "cookbook" is that it's stuff you can do in less than 30 minutes. But some of the "recipes" are literally just store bought products. How do you make an Italian cookie plate for a party? Well you buy 2 pounds of Italian cookies and put them on a plate. You know what's a good drink you can make? Store bought root beer and store bought ice cream for a root beer float. Or, store bought lemon curd on top of a store bought pound cake. I don't need a book to tell me to go buy a cake. I know that. I have been to stores, I know they sell cake?

The book is divided into sections: . It's a perfectly fine way of organizing recipes, and makes things easier to navigate.

There's a lot of recipes but virtually no pictures. I like having pictures. Although, I've bought cookies before so I guess I mostly know what to expect.

This book wasn't totally useless to me, and there were a few things in here that sounded like they could be good.

This is maybe a good jumping off point for people who are super busy or who are suuuuper new to cooking. But if you've been around the kitchen a time or two, I don't know that you'll find much use for this book.

Review: Pretty Deadly, Vol. 1: The Shrike by Kelly Sue DeConnick

Title: Pretty Deadly, Vol. 1: The Shrike
Series: Pretty Deadly #1-5
Author: Kelly Sue DeConnick
Illustrator: Emma Ríos
Format: Paperback, 120 pages
Pub. Date: May 13th 2014
Source: Goodreads First Reads


Book Description:

TKelly Sue DeConnick (Avengers Assemble, Captain Marvel) and Emma Rios (Dr. Strange, Osborn) present the collected opening arc of their surprise-hit series that marries the magical realism of Sandman with the western brutality of Preacher. Death's daughter rides the wind on a horse made of smoke and her face bears the skull marks of her father. Her origin story is a tale of retribution as beautifully lush as it is unflinchingly savage.

"It's a perfect match for the gorgeous, dizzying artwork in a sumptuous palette-overlaid panels add intricate choreography to fight scenes, and detailed, whirling splash pages beg for long-lingering looks. Couple that, along with a handful of Eisner nominations, with a multicultural cast of tough-as-nails women who all fight for their own honor, and this is a series to watch out for." - Booklist

"It's ambitious and challenging (two qualities that are not often valued, but that probably should be), under a façade of violence and sacrifice. Rio's art is lush and detailed, and is more than capable of keeping up with the far-reaching story." - PW

Review:

★★

What an odd series of graphic novels to review.

I didn't really care for this series. It felt all over the place and disjointed. It was hard to follow, even if conceptually it's a cool idea. There's a lot of things that are never really explained (like the narrators) that we're just meant to accept without thinking too much about.

The artwork, however, is beautiful. It's haunting and dark and eerie, and does way more than the writing does with progressing the story. Some of the panels are cool enough to be prints in their own right, in my opinion.

I don't know how many of these books there are (note: a quick look on Goodreads tells me that in fact there are ten volumes), but I have absolutely no interest in reading any more of these. While the feminist-gothic-spaghetti western type plot seems like a good idea in theory, it falls short on every level, and doesn't really get to the nitty gritty of any of these categories. It's just sort of.... Artsy and different solely for the purpose of being artsy and different. The characters aren't given much depth, so it's hard to feel attached to them, no matter how cool their artwork is.

I'm not really sure who I recommend these books to. If you like westerns with a slight gothic flourish or dark-inspired graphic novels, this might be for you.

Review: This Lie Will Kill You by Chelsea Pitcher

Title: This Lie Will Kill You
Author: Chelsea Pitcher
Format: Paperback ARC
Pub. Date: December 11th 2018
Source: Goodreads First Reads


Book Description:

Tell the truth. Or face the consequences.

Clue meets Riverdale in this page-turning thriller that exposes the lies five teens tell about a deadly night one year ago.

One year ago, there was a party.
At the party, someone died.
Five teens each played a part and up until now, no one has told the truth.

But tonight, the five survivors arrive at an isolated mansion in the hills, expecting to compete in a contest with a $50,000 grand prize. Of course…some things are too good to be true.

Now, they realize they’ve been lured together by a person bent on revenge, a person who will stop at nothing to uncover what actually happened on that deadly night, one year ago.

Five arrived, but not all can leave. Will the truth set them free?
Or will their lies destroy them all?

Review:

★★

I've read other books by Chelsea Pitcher before and really enjoyed them. The S-Word got a five stars from me, and The Last Changeling got a four star rating from me. I so looked forward to reading this one too, but it definitely wasn't what I was expecting, and I was left disappointed. The blurb for this book claims that it's "Clue meets Riverdale". Well, I enjoyed Clue but have never seen Riverdale, but if it's anything like this, I'll be scrolling by that on Netflix.

The descriptive writing in this book was very good, and what I've seen from Pitcher in the past. Vivid, world build-y, it makes you feel like you're in the room with these characters. But unfortunately for me, that's where the good writing stopped. I didn't care about any of the characters. The way the chapters alternated between characters felt fuzzy and disjointed, and not in a way that seemed to amplify the "whodunnit" vibe of the story. The story itself was malodramatic and unrealistic (yes, I know it's a fictional book) and made me roll my eyes more than want to turn the next page.

The beginning had potential. It was a good balance of intriguing and creepy, luring you in to want to play the game alongside this cast of characters. But about halfway through the book, it felt like someone else started writing entirely. It became even more choppy and rushed, and didn't feel like the same tone at all. Probably because at this point, the "whodunnit" had already become "oh they dunnit" with a lot of pages left to go.

This wasn't what I hoped for at all. There's some genuinely good writing in here but it's hard to find. I liked the concept and idea for the plot, but found it a strange mix of over the top and boring.

I received a copy of this book from Goodreads First Reads in exchange for my honest review. Thank you!

Review: Let It Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson, & Lauren Myracle

Title: Let It Snow
Authors: John Green, Maureen Johnson, & Lauren Myracle
Format: Paperback, 352 pages
Pub. Date: October 2nd 2008
Source: Goodwill


Book Description:

An ill-timed storm on Christmas Eve buries the residents of Gracetown under multiple feet of snow and causes quite a bit of chaos. One brave soul ventures out into the storm from her stranded train and sets off a chain of events that will change quite a few lives. Over the next three days one girl takes a risky shortcut with an adorable stranger, three friends set out to win a race to the Waffle House (and the hash brown spoils), and the fate of a teacup pig falls into the hands of a lovesick barista.

A trio of today's bestselling authors - John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle- brings all the magic of the holidays to life in three hilarious and charming interconnected tales of love, romance, and kisses that will steal your breath away.

Review:

★★

This book has been on my to-read list for such a long time. When it snowed shortly after Halloween in my neck of the woods, I figured it was the perfect time to get in the jingle bell spirit. I wish I hadn't.

This book is divided into three different short stories, so I'll give three tiny reviews of each one.


Starting this anthology off is Maureen Johnson's story titled "The Jubilee Express". This was easily my favorite of the three. It involves a girl named Jubilee who has to head to Florida for the holidays when her parents are arrested, only to find that her train is snowed in too.

It's definitely not a realistic story, but it's Christmas so I can ignore that. The romance plot is super cute and warm and fuzzy inside. I adored that the main character stands up for herself when she realizes she is being treated badly. We could all use that type of confidence, even if it takes awhile.

I think her name is super cute, and the way it relates to both the plot of the story and the spirit of Christmas is well done.

Some things that were a little irritating was the whole "not like other girls" thing, and the fact that she's anti-cheerleader for no real reason and even has the gall to make fun of them for all being named things like Madison..... When her name is Jubilee, which she also hates for being unique? It's weird.
Maureen Johnson's story

The middle story is that of John Green, entitled "A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle". I think I was most disappointed by this story. It wasn't the worst one, but because I have read (and loved) other John Green books and had higher expectations.

The main character is awful. He keeps describing his female friend as "not a girl" and not like other girls, is one of the boys. When he finds out she's seeing another boy, he makes fun of them. Even when she asks him to stop because enough is enough, he doesn't stop. He has the type of vocabulary of "that's gay". He and his best friend are endangering all their lives for the chance to bang a cheerleader because they're so easy, coupled with slut jokes. He crashes his car and tells his parents he was carjacked because his parents have insurance, so it's all fine. He also realizes he has feelings out of seemingly nowhere. Just I see the light we are meant to be!

She's not innocent here though. She is anti-cheerleader (seriously, am I the only person on the planet whose school cheerleaders were just normal albeit pretty people?) yet she agrees to go with them (because she wants hashbrowns) and complains the whole time about going and that they're just after cheerleaders. Even though she knew that from the beginning. She clearly has feelings for the MC (lord knows why) but instead of using words, decides to be judgy and passive aggressive the whole time. She's also the type of girl who calls her friends "retarded misogynists."

Yikes. They deserve each other, but not for the way Green intended.


And last, there is Lauren Myracle's "The Patron Saint of Pigs". I didn't care for this one, but it least it (sort of?) had some personality growth.

The main character is awful. She's so self absorbed. Five people in 100 pages tell her this, and tell her she's terrible and selfish. She then supposedly has her "Christmas angel epiphany" of how she needs to change and stop being so selfish. And she sort of does? The whole story she is bossing around her boss like she's not a teenager at a Starbucks. She tells her boss (not asks) what she's doing and when she's leaving. Ha, no. And even after this "epiphany" when she comes back, she still treats her boss poorly, even though she has brought a pig (yes, literal pig!) into a CAFE. I get it, you're a teenager and all authority is bad but it's a pig in a coffee shop that is upsetting.

Speaking of Starbucks, it's mentioned so much that it sort of just started to sound like this story was sponsored. There's also a lot of pop culture references here that make the story seem really outdated. Like American Idol being all the rage, the fact that her iPod has the click wheel thing, and I would have been her age roughly in 2008 when this was first published and even I had to google what the hell an iPenguin is.

I couldn't help to be disappointed when her friends forgave her and she got the boy, to be honest.

But, at the end of this story there's a nice little wrap up that features all of the couples from the other stories too. It's a little rushed and muddled, but that's the issue with short story collections. You don't get to know anyone well enough in so few pages, and the pacing is quick.

I didn't care much for this book, and I was glad it was over. It does make me want to read more by Maureen Johnson, but that's about it.

Review: The Espressologist by Kristina Springer

Title: The Espressologist
Author: Kristina Springer
Format: Paperback, 184 pages
Pub. Date: January 4th 2011
Source: Salvation Army


Book Description:

What's your drink of choice? Is it a small pumpkin spice latte? Then you're lots of fun and a bit sassy. Or a medium americano? You prefer simplicity in life. Or perhaps it's a small decaf soy sugar-free hazelnut caffe latte? Some might call you a yuppie. Seventeen-year-old barista Jane Turner has this theory that you can tell a lot about a person by their regular coffee drink. She scribbles it all down in a notebook and calls it Espressology. So it's not a totally crazy idea when Jane starts hooking up some of her friends based on their coffee orders. Like her best friend, Em, a medium hot chocolate, and Cam, a toffee nut latte. But when her boss, Derek, gets wind of Jane's Espressology, he makes it an in-store holiday promotion, promising customers their perfect matches for the price of their favorite coffee. Things are going better than Derek could ever have hoped, so why is Jane so freaked out? Does it have anything to do with Em dating Cam? She's the one who set them up! She should be happy for them, right?

Review:

★★

I knew what I was in for when I grabbed this book. Something light. Something fluffy. Something that wouldn't take too much time or focus. And I got what I expected. This book was okay, but not quite for me.

I love the idea of this book, conceptually. I think that the idea of matching people based on their drink orders is a really cute one. And overall, that part of the plot was okay.

Some parts of the book were just a little bit juvenile for me, even by YA standards. "Totally", "omg", and "hottie" are used so much that they don't even sound like real words anymore. Plus the chat speak of things like "c u 2".

Where it fell flat for me was the main character. To say I didn't like her would be wildly understated. She's wanted to be a fashion designer since... Before reality TV stars made it popular. ...Really? Tommy Hilfiger, Versace, and Ralph Lauren would beg to differ. Because of this love of fashion, she's judgy there too, judging her friend for having superstore shoes. Plus, she calls pretty much everyone at her college weirdos who didn't get into real college or are old people. Yikes. Oh, and her coworker as a floozy for flirting. Nice.

She also seems like a pretty terrible employee. She's writing constantly instead of doing work and gets mad when people are annoyed by it. She gets promoted and says "power is great" and uses this to shove around a coworker she doesn't like and doesn't ring up coffees. Forgets to do inventory and stock, she acts like the manager is being sooooo mean.I get that it's a fictional book but good lord.

The actual match making parts were cute, as was her building success. It was cute and fluffy and because of the cozy setting of a coffee shop, that plot works really well. I also appreciate that she stands up for herself against her bullies. As much as I may not like her, I appreciate that she's no doormat and that she can hold her own.

I also know this isn't how you're supposed to judge a book, but the cover is super cute. I'd be lying if I said it's not what drew me into the book in the first place. It sums up the book and the tone of the story really well.

Ultimately, I think this book is just too young for me, even if I am a fan of YA books. If you're looking for something short that's easy to get through, this is a good choice. I'm not mad that I read it, but I won't be reading it again

Review: Hollow Beauty by Khristina Chess

Title: Hollow Beauty
Author: Khristina Chess
Format: Paperback, 225 pages
Pub. Date: September 13th 2014
Source: Goodreads First Reads


Book Description:

When tall, gorgeous Brody asks Olivia to the prom, she’s ecstatic—until he suggests that she use the two months before the dance to lose some weight. Does he think she’s fat? His comment sends Olivia on a spiral of insecurity and dangerously rapid weight loss that borders on anorexia.

As her pounds vanish, her friendship deepens with Ross, the new prep cook at the diner where she works. Despite his mysterious limp, he doesn’t suffer crippling low self-esteem like Olivia does; usually, she can’t even look at herself in the mirror anymore. But when she’s riding dirt bikes and searching for caves with Ross, she doesn’t feel ugly or fat, just herself again—hanging out and having fun.

With Brody, instead of finding the romance and true love she had hoped for, she feels like a terrified rabbit that he’s going to devour. She refuses to think about that. She’s almost thin enough to be beautiful for the prom.

And then the unthinkable happens.

Review:

★★

I'm always interested in realistic young adult books. The ones that address the tough stuff: eating disorders, self harm, conversion therapy, depression. Those are the books that helped me the most when I was that age, and I still look to them in adulthood. This isn't the first book on eating disorders that I've read, and it's something that I've dealt with in real life as well. Unfortunately, I didn't think that Hollow Beauty did a very good job with this topic.

What bothers me the most, I think, is how quickly the eating disorder issue presents itself. The boy she has a crush on tells her she needs to lose weight on page 4 of the book. And she just clings to this and the disorder starts. Did she have self-esteem issues before? Is weight something she's struggled with before? Was she already thinking about slimming down? I don't know. In the first few pages up to that point, she is happy with some fries after a sports meet. And then like lightning, out of nowhere, it begins. I wish that there was more about Olivia at the beginning, because it is so instantaneous that it comes off as odd.

I also don't really think her weight loss seemed realistic. People noticed the second she lost even a tiny bit of weight, and felt the need to comment on it. No one notices a pound or two, especially for athletes, who are always getting into shape. Not to mention that she's super rude to anyone who even shows a little of concern.

Her version of love just makes me sad. That you need to be all oogly eyed and lovey dovey and holding hands. Her judge of character at one point is that the jerk she likes doesn't open her car door, but the friend who zomg she can't POSSIBLY have feelings for, does. Such an odd little thing to use as a measurement, but whatever floats your boat I guess?

Another thing that bugged me is that while Jerk is talking about sex with her, and she's clearly uncomfortable with all of it, she has the bright idea that maybe she should just drink first so she'll like it. I'm sure that some girls out there really think like that but GOOD GOD, NO. In another moment of oddness, Olivia- who gets upset when she is even just a few calories off of where she thought and can't eat much without hating herself- slams a hard lemonade without thinking about it. Alcohol is terrible for you, weight loss wise, especially something as sugary as a Mike's.

I know I have a lot of problems with this book, but it wasn't ALL bad.

I liked that at the start of each chapter, it gave Olivia's current weight, and her goal weight. It was a good way to organize where she is in the journey and to keep track of what's going on.

I loved Ross, the friend she makes at the diner. He has a scar and a limp and is always kind to her. He's patient when she asks a million questions about his hobby, he shows concern for her weight loss, and I think it's cute that, as he's a cook, he just wants to feed her. If he was in this story more, I would have liked it more.

The book also does a good job of showing how toxic the internet/online groups can be. She joins a weight loss site called Blubber Busters which has a forum. She realizes quickly that support isn't always helpful, and that some of these girls take the weight obsession too far. While I'm not on eating disorder/weight loss apps, I am in other communities that definitely have some cesspools. I think it was a good thing to include.

There's also discussion questions in the back, if you're reading this for a club or class or something.

Overall, I found this book problematic and it wasn't for me. But it wasn't a total loss. There were some parts that were well represented, and enough interesting points that kept me reading until the end of the book. This might be a case of "it's not you, it's me", since other people seem to really like it. But, it just wasn't the book for me. Perhaps it'll be a better read for you.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Mini Review: Rebels: City of Indra by Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, & Maya Sloan

Title: Rebels: City of Indra
Series: The Story of Lex and Livia #1
Authors: Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, & Maya Sloan
Format: Hardcover, 352 pages
Pub. Date: June 3rd 2014
Source: Goodreads First Reads/Publisher


Book Description:

Kendall and Kylie Jenner, stars on the hit reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians, present their debut novel—a thrilling dystopian story about two super-powered girls who embark on a journey together, not knowing they’re twins.

Two girls, two worlds apart.

Lex lives down below, close to rock bottom. She grew up in the orphanage, alone, and now is training to be a Special Op so she can finally destroy the rebels with her own hands. She needs no one.

Livia lives miles above everything on a floating island in the city of Indra. She is training too, but for a life that she doesn’t want. She wants to be free, to finally leave her floating island, and to run with her beloved horse until she can’t run any longer.

And then there’s Kane—Lex’s only friend, whom she would walk through fire for. And when she finds that Kane is in danger, she doesn’t hesitate to leave her post and blast her way to the top of Indra to save him. She just needs to get one stubborn, unexpectedly clever airgirl to tell her where he is first.

In this fast-paced, dystopian thriller, Lex and Livia reluctantly team up to save Kane after discovering that they share a mysterious identical mark—not realizing that their biggest danger is in each other.

Review:

★★

I want to start this off by saying I have no grudges, or opinions, about the Jenner/Kardashian clan. I didn't go into this to poke fun at the Jenner sisters for writing a book. I went into it because it sounded like something that I would enjoy. For reasons (almost) completely unrelated to the cache of the authors, I didn't care much for this book.

It felt forced. There are elements of so many other science fiction/dystopian tropes here, that it all becomes muddled and confusing. Mysterious underground civilization? Check. Weirdly affluent above ground kingdom? Check. Plastic surgery being almost required of the upper crust? Check. Orphanage? Check. Love triangle? Ugh.

That said, I thought the world building was okay. It was a bit overwhelming and overdone, but painted a pretty good visual picture.

I didn't care for either of the main characters. They seemed to be made from cardboard. They're boring, they're flat. They don't seem too developed or interesting, even. Because of that, I didn't care about the plot. I wasn't invested in the characters, so what happened to them was sort of a moot point.

I do think it's a little funny though (this is the one point where the authors mattered to me) that one of the lead girls poo-poos plastic surgery/body modifications because she doesn't need it to be herself. From a Jenner. I'm just saying, compare the author photo on the back of this book to their current faces.

I can see maybe where young teens would maybe like this, but if you've read good sci-fi or dystopia before, I feel like you're going to have some problems with this. Enter at your own risk.

I received a copy of this book from the Goodreads First Reads program in exchange for my honest review. Thank you.

Mini Review- Cave Kiddos: A Sunny Day by Eric Jay Cash

Title: Cave Kiddos: A Sunny Day
Author: Eric Jay Cash
Format: Paperback, 26 pages
Pub. Date: February 6th 2016
Source: Publisher


Book Description:

Cave Kiddos is a fun book about four Paleolithic children who share the experience of developing and learning important words and concepts. Join Alk, Haha, Lala, and Zee as they discover the world around them.

Review:

★★

I'll start off with the positive thing I liked about this book, and that is the illustrations. They're very cartoonish and animated, and they're very cute. They will certainly hold the attention of younger readers. They are colored well and can be appreciated without having text along the way in the book.

But there is text in the book: albeit very, very little. The book follows these four little cave children as they explore the world around them. They learn the word "water"..... And that's it.

This might be good for really, really, really early readers, or as the author's bio suggests, for kids with speech delays/problems. But for most kids, this won't hold interest for very long. I wouldn't recommend it.

Review: Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman

Title: Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison
Author: Piper Kerman
Format: Paperback, 314 pages
Pub. Date: March 8th 2011
Source: Half Price Books


Book Description:

With a career, a boyfriend, and a loving family, Piper Kerman barely resembles the reckless young woman who delivered a suitcase of drug money ten years before. But that past has caught up with her. Convicted and sentenced to fifteen months at the infamous federal correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut, the well-heeled Smith College alumna is now inmate #11187–424—one of the millions of people who disappear “down the rabbit hole” of the American penal system. From her first strip search to her final release, Kerman learns to navigate this strange world with its strictly enforced codes of behavior and arbitrary rules. She meets women from all walks of life, who surprise her with small tokens of generosity, hard words of wisdom, and simple acts of acceptance. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and at times enraging, Kerman’s story offers a rare look into the lives of women in prison—why it is we lock so many away and what happens to them when they’re there.

Review:

★★

It's worth saying up front that, yes, I do watch the Netflix series of the same name. However, I understand that the real life and the fictional life are two different things, so I will try my best not to compare the two: they are very different experiences.

This book is alright. It was a very slow read for me. I expected it to be faster paced, knowing that Piper has a history as a traveler and having been shipped around the prison system. But not much really happened.

There are so many different characters in the book, that it's really hard to keep everyone straight. Aside from a few reoccurring characters like Pop (Red) and Nora (Alex), not much depth is given to a lot of these girls. You don't get to know them very well as a whole. I also wasn't a fan of how she describes people. She often finds a way to insult them. Like, yeah she's pretty but she's super dumb, or she's ugly but she's so sweet. It was off-putting.

There was a lot of inner dialogue and not so much talking between characters. I think this is part of why it felt like nothing was happening. Her thoughts were sometimes interesting and almost always understandable. Questions like what is my fiance doing right now? Will I make it out of here? How did I end up here? But I was surprised by the lack of acknowledgement of her crimes. Towards the end she makes one flippant comment about how she committed a crime, but throughout the book there's definitely the implication of "I don't deserve to be here, I'm not like these people". There's no real growth or evolution. Although, she is on a women's prison board now, so some positivity has coming from it (not to mention those Netflix checks- genuinely, good for her on that front!).

That said, I do appreciate that she acknowledges her privilege often. While it does get annoying to hear about how much she has compared to others, I'm glad that she at least realized it. She had a job waiting for her on the outside. She received tons of mail and books and had a great lawyer. I do think that it's odd that no one seemed to care that she went to prison. By her own detail, she is waspy and she went to Smith. Yet her family and friends were just like "oh, okay, see you when you're out". It's great that they were so supportive.... Just seems odd for such an upper class family to not be appalled. Just an interesting observation.

The most interesting part of the book to me was the end section, which tells about her brief time in the Cook County jail system. She was held in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Chicago, Illinois during her testimony for court. I'm from Cook County, and as she detailed how terrible the conditions were, I couldn't help but to feel like "yeah, that sounds right" based off of our news... And that's a damn shame.

I think what made this an odd read for me is that it reads sort of like a college application essay. A lot of it is personal, first hand experience. Who am I to say her stay was boring? It's her life, and I'm sure it was terrifying and awful. I certainly wouldn't want to be in her position. But there's strangely inserted facts and percentages and things that make it almost seem like it's a research paper. The two different writing styles don't mesh together very well, and makes the book seem rather disorganized, and interrupts the flow of the narrative.

I do appreciate that she includes a list of resources for jails, prisons, and the family/friends of those who are incarcerated in the back of the book. I hope I never need them, but I think it's a great thing to include.

And one brief comparison to the show: you can mostly tell which characters are based on who, even though the names have been changed. I did think it was cool that some quotes from the show were taken verbatim from the text.

Ultimately, I'm not mad at this book. I'm not sorry I read it. But I don't think that I'll have any urge to read it again, and I don't think I'd recommend it to a friend. Perhaps if you're more affluent than I am, or if you've done time (or are facing it presently), maybe you'll have more to gain from this book than I did. It's not a bad book, it just could have been done better.

Mini Review: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies by Michael P. Spradlin

Title: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols
Author: Michael P. Spradlin
Format: Paperback, 96 pages
Pub. Date: October 27th 2009
Source: Gift


Book Description:

The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and the classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!

Review:

★★

This is an okay little read. As the title suggests, this is a caroling book in which classic Christmas carols that we all know and love are given a twist so that they're about zombies instead.

They're super gory, full of images of rotting flesh and extremities ripping off and words like "ooze" and "goo".

They're not particularly well done- there's a few individual lines of lyrics that are pretty funny or clever. But there's a lot of shoving extra syllables into places where they don't fit, so it's kind of hard to sing along with the lyrics even if you wanted to.

This seems to me like a book fair book, or maybe a bargain book that you see on those last-minute shelves as you are in line to check out at Barnes and Noble.

If you're a 12 year old boys who thinks that blood is cool and farts and boogers are hilarious, then godspeed. This book is for you. It's cute to read through once, but it's not something I'll remember next year, nor will I have an urge to flip through it again.

HOLIDAY REVIEW: No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day by Tracy Bloom

Title: No-one Ever Has Sex on Christmas Day
Series: No-one Ever Has Sex #3
Author: Tracy Bloom
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: October 24th 2017
Source: Netgalley


Book Description:

Don’t you always plan the perfect Christmas?
Don’t you always think it will be the best one ever?
And doesn’t something – usually one of your loved ones – always come along and screw it up?

Katy’s been spending too much time in the office and not enough time with her family so she wants it all: snow (fake or real), the Michael Bublé Christmas album, whatever it takes.

There’s only one thing missing as far as her husband Ben is concerned: another baby to complete their family. Katy isn’t so sure…

Ben may be playing the role of Master Elf in the pre-school nativity but he is struggling to master his own family life. With romantically-challenged friends, an ex who refuses to go away and Katy's mum's 64-year-old toy boy thrown into the mix, Christmas looks like it could be going off the rails… Never mind family planning, can Katy and Ben even plan to make it to the end of Christmas Day?

Review:

★★

Meh.

I didn't realize that this was the third book in a series until I went to update my Goodreads progress, as it wasn't advertised as a series. Maybe that's part of why I'm not into this book.

I don't get the humor. I understood the jokes and quips.... I just wasn't laughing. When the cover of the book says "The most hilarious romantic comedy you'll read this Christmas" - that's a big promise, so I had big hopes. I was left disappointed, with a few snickers here and there but not much else.

The rest of it was just.... Well, boring. I didn't feel connected to any of the characters, nor did I particularly care for any of them. I found Katy rather selfish and irritating, while the others were kind of just... there. Not bad, not good. Just there. There was no big climax really, or much of a plot to follow. It was a light read that's easy to get through, because there's not too much to focus on.

Don't let my review dissuade you. I am clearly in the minority on this one. People are yucking it up and enjoying themselves, while I'm the lone scrooge who didn't care for it. If you've read other books in the series, maybe you'll like it more than I did. But, it's just not my cup of tea.

I received a copy in exchange for my honest review.

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN REVIEW: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by April Genevieve Tucholke

Title: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Series: Between #1
Author: April Genevieve Tucholke
Format: Hardcover, 360 pages
Pub. Date: August 15th 2013
Source: Purchased, HPB


Book Description:

You stop fearing the devil when you’re holding his hand…

Nothing much exciting rolls through Violet White’s sleepy, seaside town… until River West comes along. River rents the guest house behind Violet’s crumbling estate, and as eerie, grim things start to happen, Violet begins to wonder about the boy living in her backyard.

Is River just a crooked-smiling liar with pretty eyes and a mysterious past? Or could he be something more?

Violet’s grandmother always warned her about the Devil, but she never said he could be a dark-haired boy who takes naps in the sun, who likes coffee, who kisses you in a cemetery... who makes you want to kiss back.

Violet’s already so knee-deep in love, she can’t see straight. And that’s just how River likes it.

Blending faded decadence and the thrilling dread of gothic horror, April Genevieve Tucholke weaves a dreamy, twisting contemporary romance, as gorgeously told as it is terrifying—a debut to watch.

Review:

★★

Oh goodness. What did I just read?

I was super excited to finally get this book. I remember when it first came out and people were losing their minds for it. I was drawn in by the hype, not to mention the super intriguing title and the pretty cover. I shouldn't have judged it by that.

I could rant about this book for hours, but instead I'm opting to take the short, sweet high road version.

I'll start with the positives first, because there are some positives. The writing is absolutely beautiful. The author does a fantastic job in describing the setting and the characters. The writing is slow at times, in a style reminiscent of southern gothic novels. It's lyrical and haunting, and more than once I found myself internally complimenting a passage.

But that's all I've got.

Some of the reasons why I didn't enjoy this book include: instalove, adults that don't seem to know/care what's going on ever, terrible side characters (the awful brother, the "slutty" neighbor), and lots of questionable decisions by everyone involved.

A pet peeve (that's admittedly nitpicking) is that they refer to each other as brother and sister. Is this a regional thing? I've literally never called my sister "sister" in conversation.

The end was super disappointing too. The bad guy (maybe?) turns into a Batman/Scooby-Doo villain and reveals his whole origin story and plan. There's a lot of threads left untied at the end, and it ends in a cliffhanger. Unfortunately, I wasn't interested enough in the characters to pick up the second one any time soon.

There's a lot of people who really liked this book, so maybe it's just a case of "it's not you, it's me". If you like instant romance, paranormal powers, and gothic writing, maybe you'll have better luck with this than me.

HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN! Review: I Am Bat by Morag Hood

Title: I Am Bat
Author: Morag Hood
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: September 5th 2017
Source: Publisher


Book Description:

I am bat.
I love cherries. They are juicy and red and delicious and...
My cherries! Some of them are missing.
Who took my cherries? Was it YOU?

Join the grumpily adorable Bat as he searches for his missing cherries in this vibrant and hilarious picture book.

Review:

★★

This is an okay book, but I was left a bit disappointed.

I adore bats, so I was really excited to see one as the main character of this picture book.

I'll start with the good things first. The art work is really cute. It's full of bright colors and cute fonts. I also really like Bat himself. He has good facial expressions that match well with the text that is alongside it.

But there's... Not really a story arc. It ends really suddenly, and you're not given a lot to go off of. I understand that this is a kid's picture book, but that still doesn't mean there shouldn't be some sort of plot.

So, this was cute, but not really a great story. If you or your kid loves bats like I do, it might be worth it for the cute pictures. But even for a picture book, this is a super quick one that won't take long.

I received a copy in exchange for my honest review.

Review: Afterparty by Ann Redisch Stampler

Title: Afterparty
Author: Ann Redisch Stampler
Format: Paperback ARC
Pub. Date: January 7th 2014
Source: Won


Book Description:

Emma is tired of being good. Always the dutiful daughter to an overprotective father, she is the antithesis of her mother -- whose name her dad won't even say out loud. That's why meeting Siobhan is the best thing that ever happened to her...and the most dangerous. Because Siobhan is fun and alluring and experienced and lives on the edge. In other words, she's everything Emma is not.

And it may be more than Emma can handle.

Because as intoxicating as her secret life may be, when Emma begins to make her own decisions, Siobhan starts to unravel. It's more than just Dylan, the boy who comes between them. Their high-stakes pacts are spinning out of control. Elaborate lies become second nature. Loyalties and boundaries are blurred. And it all comes to a head at the infamous Afterparty, where debauchery rages and an intense, inescapable confrontation ends in a plummet from the rooftop.

This follow-up to Ann Redisch Stampler's Where It Began, reveals how those who know us best can hurt us most.

Review:

★★

Sometimes, every once in a while, there comes a book that feels like a case of "it's not you, it's me". I believe that this is one of those times. I'm glad a lot of other people seem to have enjoyed it, but it wasn't for me. This review will be vague, because there's a lot of potential spoilers.

The writing style wasn't one that I found enjoyable. It was full of long, flowery sentences that seemed extra detailed just for the sake of a word count. I thought maybe I'd warm up to it as the book went on, but alas I did not. The pacing was also rough. Sometimes the book jumped forward a day, sometimes a week. It was jagged and awkward and hard to keep up.

And then there's the characters. 99% of the time when I don't like a book, it's because of the characters, and this isn't the 1% for me. I didn't care for any of them. Not like "oh, I connect and understand these characters but I dislike them" but as in, I don't care at all what happens in your lives. For me it was a hyper-dramatic version of the 2003 film Thirteen. There's a good girl who doesn't want to be so good. Enter the super crazy, abusive, manipulative cool bad girl who is her downfall. There wasn't anything about her that made her unique, or someone that I could understand being friends with in the first place, let alone the friendship that follows. Think of all the things parents think are the end of the world: drugs, sex, and alcohol, and multiply the drama by 100, and that's what Siobhan gets them into. The main character is generic and forgettable, and doesn't really grow that much by the end of the novel . So, it felt largely predictable in parts.

And the end? What a let down. It didn't make up for my other issues with the book, so I was just left frustrated.

I will say that though it has nothing to do with the story, the cover is gorgeous.

As I said, I think this is a case of it's not you, it's me. So, if you like teenage drama type stories like Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girl or things like that, go for it. Maybe you'll have a better time.

Mini College Review: Christina Rossetti by Jan Marsh

Title: Christina Rossetti
Author: Jan Marsh
Format: Hardcover, 634 pages
Pub. Date: July 1st 1995
Source: Amazon


Book Description:

This absorbing biography recovers for readers the life of the author of "Goblin Market" and "My heart is singing like a bird", and shows that, far from being a pious and melancholy recluse, Rosetti was a complex and fascinating woman whose poetry is at last receiving the attention it deserves. Photos.

Review:

★★

This is a book that I had to read for one of my poetry courses in college.

Christina Rossetti is one of my favorite poets. I've written on her a number of times, and I was really excited to have to read this. Don't waste your time.

It's really dragging, even for a memoir. It's over 600 pages, and it certainly doesn't need to be. Granted, there's some pages with photos on them, but that doesn't make up for the dry, student thesis paper type writing that this biography has.

It's also unreliable. The author goes out of her way to insert her own opinion, presented as fact. Such as, that Christina Rossetti had some intimate relations with a family member. There's no evidence of this. While it's acceptable to bring it up as a theory, or even to write a book about how you feel that's what her writing or actions in her life suggest, it's still not fact. Because she shows a bias to some theories and ideas and not others, it makes her an unreliable narrator, so I don't know if everything else in the book is accurate either.

Unless you have to read it for a class like I did, skip it. There's better books about her life.

Mini School Review: Clybourne Park by Bruce Norris

Title: Clybourne Park
Author: Bruce Norris
Format: Paperback, 210 pages
Pub. Date: Published 2011
Source: SIU Bookstore


Book Description:

CLYBOURNE PARK spans two generations fifty years apart. In 1959, Russ and Bev are selling their desirable two-bedroom at a bargain price, unknowingly bringing the first black family into the neighborhood (borrowing a plotline from Lorraine Hansberry's A Raisin in the Sun) and creating ripples of discontent among the cozy white residents of Clybourne Park. In 2009, the same property is being bought by a young white couple, whose plan to raze the house and start again is met with equal disapproval by the black residents of the soon-to-be-gentrified area. Are the issues festering beneath the floorboards actually the same, fifty years on? Bruce Norris's excruciatingly funny and squirm-inducing satire explores the fault line between race and property.

Review:

★★

I had to read this play in one of my American literature classes in college. It was my least favorite piece of literature of the semester.

The book is a sequel of sorts to Lorraine Hansberry's play "A Raisin in the Sun". For the record, that's not one of my favorite plays either. I know it's a classic, but I went into reading "Claybourne Park" without the expectations that other people who loved Raisin in the Sun did.

It's boring. I know that's the least helpful word to describe a book, but it's what it was. It was loud, full of people talking over each other but not really going anywhere. While this made it easy to read in class, it's really easy to struggle with set, the bigger plot, and even character descriptions because that's not really what the constant talking is about. The jokes (yes, there are some) aren't funny. The drama seems anticlimactic. The characters seem no different from characters I've seen before, which makes this book/play pretty forgettable. Like a show on TLC I don't want to watch: generic people yelling at each other

I understand the message and the point the play is trying to make, and I appreciate it. But when it comes to the actual piece, not for me. Maybe if you enjoyed "A Raisin in the Sun", or actually get to see this played out on stage, you'll have a better time with it than I did.

Mini Review: How to Draw Tattoo Style by Andy Fish & Veronica Hebard

Title: How to Draw Tattoo Style
Authors: Andy Fish & Veronica Hebard
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: March 18th 2015
Source: Dover Publications


Book Description:

A great tattoo starts with a great tattoo drawing. Whether you want to become the next big tattoo artist, want to perfect a design for yourself, or just like to create new and original tattoo art, How to Draw Tattoo Style is the book for you. Filled with fascinating historical background and designs that range from "old school" nautical motifs to tribal and Oriental styles, the book offers expert tips on creating professional tattoo flash of skulls, hearts, dragons, and other images. You'll be drawing terrific tattoos in no time!

Review:

★★

This book wasn't what I wanted it to be.

When I see the words "how to draw" in a book title, I assume that it's beginner friendly. Because you know, it's going to teach you how to draw something. This is not that book. It's not very good for beginners; it assumes you already have preexisting artistic talent. Which I mean, I can draw more than stick figures, but I'm certainly no artist. This is a book that is good for those looking to shift their drawing style tattoos, or to those looking to hone their talents.

So, this book was not what I was anticipating.

It was interesting learning some historical facts and stories, but I have no use for this book further than that.

If you're already good at drawing, then I'm sure you'll find this book far more useful. If you're looking for something more beginner, this isn't it. I received a copy in exchange for my honest review. Thank you.

Review: Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann

Title: Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges
Author: Jen Mann
Format: eARC
Pub. Date: October 13th 2015
Source: Ballantine Books


Book Description:

For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece.

When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches

In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include:

• You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze
• Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out?
• Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party

From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year.

Review:

★★

Meh.

I was super excited when I heard about this book. I read and loved the first book, People I Want to Punch in the Throat. I have a hard time around the holidays thanks to my family's own dysfunction, so I couldn't wait to read her snarky take on the holiday season. I was left with a bit of a blue Christmas though, as this collection of essays fell flat for me.

I think the issue is in part: there's just not enough. I don't mean that the book is too short. What I do mean is that there's not enough actual holiday content. It feels like the author had maybe a few funny stories but tried to stretch them out a bit in order to fill a full book's worth. The end result isn't flattering. It makes the essays seem a bit forced in their humor. The writing was a bit boring, and while I did get a few laughs out of it, it wasn't nearly as laugh-out-loud-worthy as its predecessor. I like that Mann isn't PC. She's blunt and to the point and snarky, and I have a very similar personality type. But it's not enough to just throw around swears and sass; that does not a good essay make. I was whelmed.

I also feel like this book wasn't edited in the best way. It was choppy and just, didn't flow right. I wasn't able to get lost in the book at all, because it was so fragmented. I understand that this is a collection of essays and not a novel, but even so there was something just off about it.

I'm not sorry I read this. Like I said, it made me smile and I got a few laughs out of it. I think it's a book that's more of a coffee table book you bring out for the holidays and then pack up for the rest of the year, or perhaps a good gift for that one aunt on Facebook who posts nothing but memes featuring minions and wine. I'd definitely recommend the book before this one more, though, so if you haven't read it, add it to your to-read list before considering this one.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you!

Mini Review: Frozen Heart by Elizabeth Rudnick

Title: Frozen Heart
Author: Elizabeth Rudnick
Format: Hardcover, 304 pages
Pub. Date: October 13th 2015
Source: Disney Press


Book Description:

Told in alternating chapters from both Anna's and Hans' perspectives, A Frozen Heart takes a sophisticated look at events of Frozen, exploring the couple's backstories, motivations, and doomed relationship.

Review:

★★

Oh dear. This definitely wasn't what I anticipated. I was so excited when I saw that this book was coming out. I adore Disney films, and though I don't think Frozen deserved quite all the hype that it got, I still enjoyed it well enough. I was eager to read Frozen Heart because I thought maybe it would explore the world of Anna and Elsa with a bit more depth and complexity... But that wasn't the case.

This book follows the movie almost to a tee. There is one character who gets a bit more insight and explanation, and that's Hans. That's it. That little bit of insight, for a character that I still don't like, isn't enough for me to recommend reading this story. If you've seen the movie, you have gotten the gist of it.

Not only was it almost a film script, but I didn't even find it particularly well written. It felt very much like a cash-grab for Disney, to pump out a book about Frozen to help feed the mania. And, well it worked since I read it. But it was choppy and a bit dull. That could also be because I was playing the movie in my head.

Now I understand that I'm not the main demographic for this book. If you have a younger child who is obsessed with all things Frozen and princesses, or who is easing into reading bigger books, then this might be the book for you. But if you're looking for something in addition the the film's plot, I think you'll be disappointed.

I received a copy from Disney Press in exchange for my honest review.