For three years, seventeen-year-old Grace Evers has regretted breaking up with Sage Castle.
That day, she lost her boyfriend and best friend. And let's be honest, it's impossible to just be friends with the one person who gets you, faults and all, and loved you anyway. It's impossible not to think about how it felt to be held by him, or the way he looked right before he was about to kiss you with the most perfectly yummy kiss goodnight.
And now that things are over between them, they've become strangers to one another. Sage won’t even look at Grace, let alone talk to her!
Breakup life sucks and Grace is utterly miserable, doing whatever she can to ease the pain of losing Sage. She's spent the better part of high school pretending to be something she’s not and hanging out with people who probably wouldn't notice if she wasn't there. Crappy dates, backstabbing friends, and Sage's cold shoulder have taken their toll.
So when her parents propose going away to their house on Lake Michigan for the summer, Grace is thrilled. No more massively bad dates with horrible kissers or lunch with frienemies. Just three months of swimming,
Excerpt:
I stood, walked over to my window, and glanced outside at our
pool. Sunlight glittered off the surface, sparkling like jewels. I leaned my forehead against the window. Had I lost myself in our relationship? Everyone referred to us as “Grage.” We weren’t singular anymore. Everything I did was with him or for him. We’d become inseparable. But was I ready for that kind of commitment, that kind of pressure? I mean, I was only thirteen, almost fourteen. Maybe I needed to take a step back. Tears streamed down my face. But I don’t want to lose him. He’s my best friend. He gets me like no one else.
But you’re not ready for all
this.
Everything was fine until Rori opened her mouth. I just had to let it go. The more I thought about it though, the more I doubted things. Who stayed in a relationship this long when they were in eighth grade? No one. I mean, most of the girls had a different boyfriend every week. Or didn’t have boyfriends at all. But I couldn’t do this to him. It’d hurt him. I sat on the edge of my bed. My stomach tightened. I felt like throwing up. This was stupid. Why was I doing this to myself?
Because you’re not ready. My fingers clenched my blanket. I needed my space. To figure things out. I had to be my own person. A while later my cell blared with Sage’s ringtone. My hand trembled as I picked it up. “Hey,” I said. “Hey. I thought you were gonna get online so we could chat.” “Sorry. Just didn’t feel like it.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep them from welling over. “Um, okay. So, I came up with a cool play we can try during our basketball game tomorrow.” “I-I’m not coming now.”
“Wait, what?” “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” “Are you talking about the basketball game or us?” A lump lodged in my throat and I couldn’t breathe. “I’m not ready for a boyfriend. I thought I was. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re my best friend.” “I see,” his voice broke. “Did I do something wrong?” My hand covered my forehead as I attempted not to sob. I didn’t want things to end like this. “No. It wasn’t you. This is me. I’m just not ready.”
“I don’t understand. What changed? You seemed fine earlier … ” “Please don’t make this harder than it is. Just … I can’t do it.” “Grace—I-I,” he stammered then got quiet. “Okay, i-if this is what you want.” “I still want us to hang out like before. It doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life.” “Listen, I think I’m gonna head to bed now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” I cried as he hung up.
I fell back on my bed, my head buried in my pillow. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end. Not like this. Sage was my best friend. My boyfriend. Exboyfriend now. Maybe things would still be the same. Then again. Maybe not.
I must admit I perked up at the mention of Lake Michigan cause I live near there, and I've had plenty of great summers swimming in those waters and playing on the beaches. Thankfully not with any exes though, but I'm interested in seeing how this story of how to unbreakup goes.
ReplyDeleteOne day we will actually swim at the beach. One day.
Delete