Review: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Title: Thirteen Reasons Why
Author: Jay Asher
Format: Hardcover, 288 pages
Pub. Date: October 18th 2007
Source: Half Price Books


Book Description:

He consumed her with that kiss, leaving no question that whatever was happening between them was meant to be—that it had always been meant to be…

You can’t stop the future.
You can’t rewind the past.
The only way to learn the secret . . . is to press play.

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker–his classmate and crush–who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.

Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows Hannah’s recorded words throughout his town, what he discovers changes his life forever.

Review:

★★★★

I know this book is really polarizing for a lot folks, and that a lot of people have strong feelings about it. I'm just not that passionate about it, so this is going to be a really basic review. I have not seen the Netflix adaptation.

I think this book has a good concept. I liked the way that it was formatted, both by using the tapes as a way to hear Hannah's story and by using the tape deck functions (play, pause, rewind) as a way to tie in Clay's narrative and response to her stories.

I will say that this book held my attention. This is probably the fastest that I've read a book in quite a while. It was both intriguing and haunting. I found myself wanting Clay to keep listening and going forward with the tapes, but I also hesitated each time a new person was mentioned, unsure if I actually did want to know what happened to Hannah.

I think I would have appreciated this book when it came out. 2007 would have been freshman/sophomore year of high school for me, when I myself would have been in the throes of my worst depression and high school angst. To me it seemed, melodramatic yes, but also quite realistic. I never questioned the teenage voice that it's written in, and all of the things that happened seemed like they very easily could have been real. That's something that I don't find a lot in a lot of high school books, especially where parties are involved.

I felt connected to the characters, which was sort of weird, considering that Hannah is dead. But the same way that hearing Hannah's voice makes Clay a little jumpy because it's like she's alive again, because her narrative is so strong on the tapes, you feel like you know her. And I felt for Clay, who had to hear so much and continue on with the little chain letter type set up.

I don't think I'll ever read this book again, but I'm not mad that I read it. I don't really recommend it to anyone either- I'd hate for anyone to be influenced by the topics here. If you're suicidal, or have been impacted by suicide, I do not think that this is the book for you.

Review: Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

Title: Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic
Author: Alison Bechdel
Format: Paperback, 232 pages
Pub. Date: June 5th 2007
Source: Half Price Books


Book Description:

In this graphic memoir, Alison Bechdel charts her fraught relationship with her late father.

Distant and exacting, Bruce Bechdel was an English teacher and director of the town funeral home, which Alison and her family referred to as the Fun Home. It was not until college that Alison, who had recently come out as a lesbian, discovered that her father was also gay. A few weeks after this revelation, he was dead, leaving a legacy of mystery for his daughter to resolve.

Review:

★★★★

I didn't know anything about Fun Home when I saw it on Broadway in Chicago. My sister is a season pass holder to the theatre, and so we went. I was told, "I don't know, it's a musical about lesbians or something". Seeing as I'm LGBT, that was enough. I didn't expect to fall in love with the musical and the story, but I did. I was eager to get my hands on Bechdel's book to get a deeper experience out of it. I wasn't disappointed.

I wasn't expecting this book to be so smartly written. I know that sounds insulting, and I definitely don't mean it to be. I know Alison Bechdel is smart (understatement of the year, since I'm pretty sure she's a MacArthur grant recipient). But wrongly, I assumed that because it was a graphic novel, it wouldn't contain much.

I was wrong, and I stand corrected.

The amount of literary comparison and quotation and references in this book are insanely plentiful. Not to mention well done. As an English grad, it warms the cockles of my cold, cynical heart. I too speak of my life, and the people in it, in terms of literature. I related strongly. Sometimes I even, admittedly, had to go back and read again to make sure I understood the bookishness fully. It's not a fast read, despite the illustrations.

I also related strongly with the idea of loving one's father, but also hating them. It is confusing to people who don't understand. My father could be warm and charming in a room full of people. But home with us, he was cold, and he was cruel. I lived my life in a state of confusion, because which of these people was my father? I have people who don't believe he was abusive, because he was so fun. I have people who know how abusive he was at home, who have gotten angry at me for staying in contact with him. It is a very weird mix of feelings to even explain to myself, let alone to other people. Alison Bechdel, while having drastically different circumstances, managed to convey this perfectly. Far better than I could ever say. Alison, I feel your heart saying hi.

And then, there's the artwork. It's very odd to see such an emotionally driven biography in this medium, but it's super effective. At first I was disappointed that these illustrations aren't in color. But in a panel, she explains why she doesn't use color anymore.... And I unfortunately relate to that too. It no longer disappointed me. The art style is well done, familiar but with detail. I appreciated the many references to Sunbeam Bread throughout the course of the book.

I also liked that the book wasn't just somber all the way through. There are moments of humor. There are moments that as a young LGBT woman that made me smile, or upset me, or just hit home. Like when I first realized what it was like to be different. Like life, this book is filled with ups and downs and complications and emotions. It can be rough in spots, but it's worth it.

I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone who enjoys the musical Fun Home, who grew up queer, or who likes gritty, realistic autobiographies. It's so well done, both in text and in illustration. It will remain on my sexuality shelf for the foreseeable future.

Review: This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Title: This Is Where It Ends
Author: Marieke Nijkamp
Format: eARC
Pub. Date: January 5th 2016
Source: Sourcebooks Fire


Book Description:

10:00 a.m.
The principal of Opportunity, Alabama's high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.

10:02 a.m.
The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03
The auditorium doors won't open.

10:05
Someone starts shooting.

Told over the span of 54 harrowing minutes from four different perspectives, terror reigns as one student's calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

Review:

★★★

This book gave me a case of the feelings.

I finished this book awhile ago now, but I had to let it stew around in my brain for awhile before I could properly and professionally write out my thoughts about it. There are some things that this book does very well, and other things that it does rather poorly, and so in the end I ended up giving it a neutral three out of five stars.

This is a tough book to read, not in its grammar or lexicon, but because of the overall plot. School shootings are tough stuff, scary stuff. Stuff that we unfortunately see every day on the news, and that some of us have personally been affected by, in some form or another. In my case, fortunately, no one was injured despite shots being fired. But even that is something that has stayed with me. It's a rough call to reality that it could happen at any school, to anybody, and that's terrifying. And yet, in its terror, this book is mesmerizing. I read it in one go, because I couldn't put it down. Thankfully I was on a train for 8 hours, so I had time to spare.

It took awhile to get used to the format of this book. It's comprised of four distinct, separated points of view. I'm not overtly fond of switching POVs, especially when it's four of them. That said, I think Nijkamp handled it fairly well. After a while it became easy to switch gears and decipher whose chapter was whose. I was disappointed that in these four points of view, the shooter wasn't given a voice. That's the voice I most wanted to read about, and I was left a bit sad that I didn't get that opportunity.

I appreciated that in addition to the separate points of view, the author also had mixed media strewn throughout the book. There is prose, as is standard in a novel, but also snippets of text messages, tweets, and blog posts. It brings the story into this decade and makes it feel more realistic. I think teens will relate to it more because of this incorporation of technology.

I do think that this book pulls out every single card in its literary deck, though, and it seemed like it was just for the purpose of saying the book included them. Different races? Check. Gay characters? Yup. Deaths of students, deaths of parents, rape, abuse, mental illness? Yup, all present. That's not a bad thing. I'm all for diverse characters and plots. I also know that everyone has their own story. But when it feels like it's all just plopped into the book for the sake of being plopped, it turns me off a bit. It also left me a bit confused. Part of one of the subplots of this story is that the town is a rather small and judgmental one, which is why so many people have so many secrets. This makes it hard to come out of the closet as being LGBT, because it is not a welcoming place. I was confused then why the quarterback who is so esteemed was a black character? Again, nothing wrong with having a black character. YA needs more of them. But when it's being drummed into the plot how small-minded the town is, this part doesn't seem to fit well. Maybe I'm just reading too much into things. It wouldn't be the first time.

I also wasn't happy with the ending, for a few reasons. I'll refrain from spoilers. Plot wise, I feel that it was kind of a cop out. The end chapters felt super rushed and I knew where it was going, and I didn't want it to go there. And when it ended it just felt like you had been running at an okay pace, sped up, and then hit a wall. It was just over. I'm not a fan of that at all. I also feel like the writing was a bit insensitive. I've lost friends to suicides and murders, and I promise you, I would never describe the loss of a beautiful human life as being able to see "brain" everywhere. It's crude, it's crass, and it's ultimately juvenile. It turned me off for sure, especially when mixed with this anger-inducing ending.

Unrelated to the content of the book, I absolutely love the cover. I think it sums up the plot well, and really makes a rather stunning point. I honestly forgot the title of this book at one point, but I remembered "the one with the broken chalk". It's a cover to be remembered.

I'm not sorry I read this, and I'll likely even read it again in the future. Like I said, there's high points and low points. It sucks you in and makes you confront life in a way that can be hard to swallow. There's some issues in it, but I would still recommend giving it a read. If you are a young adult reader who likes intense, emotionally driven books then this book might be for you.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions. Thank you.

Review: All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Title: All the Bright Places
Author: Jennifer Niven
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: January 6th 2015
Source: Netgalley & Knopf


Book Description via Goodreads:

The Fault in Our Stars meets Eleanor and Park in this exhilarating and heart-wrenching love story about a girl who learns to live from a boy who intends to die.

Soon to be a major motion picture starring Elle Fanning!

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him.

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the “natural wonders” of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It’s only with Violet that Finch can be himself—a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who’s not such a freak after all. And it’s only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet’s world grows, Finch’s begins to shrink.

This is an intense, gripping novel perfect for fans of Jay Asher, Rainbow Rowell, John Green, Gayle Forman, and Jenny Downham from a talented new voice in YA, Jennifer Niven.

Includes a PDF Help Line Resource Guide and a Note Read by the Author.

Review:

★★★★★

Sooooo nobody warned me about the feelings that I'd have when I read this book. I was flipping through the files on my Kindle, saw this one, and remembered really wanting to read it. A few hours later I was an inconsolable heap because I grow far too attached to fictional characters. This book is really well done, and I read it in one sitting.

I really liked the characters. This book is told from alternating perspectives of both Violet and Finch, two characters brought together under strange and oddly sweet circumstances. I found Finch to be more relatable, oddly enough, than Violet despite the fact that he's the type of person who is all over the place. Maybe it's because he reminded me of a previous boyfriend who is still a friend of mine? Regardless, I loved him. Violet was a strongly written character whom I also appreciated, just to a less intense degree.

They're placed together to do a project in geography class that encourages them to "wander" outside of their small town and explore the new, strange, and interesting sights that the state of Indiana has to offer. I really liked this idea and how it brought these two previous strangers together, ever the closer as they continued their travels. The setting is another big reason why this book just clicked for me. I'm from Illinois, this book is set in Indiana, and I have heard of and been to a few of the places. At first I wasn't sure if the sites were real, until the shoe trees and the world's biggest ball of paint were referenced- I know about those places, though I have never been. But what took me by surprise is that the Carmelite Shrines in Munster, IN were mentioned. I can literally walk there from my house. I have visited its shrines, but not the particular grotto mentioned in All the Bright Places, entitled "The Ultraviolet Apocalypse". I promise you and myself that once I'm home from school for the summer, I will be paying it a visit. Their wanderings worked, and made me want to explore more places and wonder what Illinois has to offer too.

I don't want to talk too much about the plot though others have, because I'd like to refrain from spoilers. I will say that this book broke my heart, and that I probably should have seen the major event coming, but I was so engrossed in the book that I did not. I had to reread passages because like Violet, I was in disbelief and denial. The narration, especially from Finch's perspective, takes some getting used to, but soon enough I stopped noticing any differences. Both Violet and Finch are distinctive voices, so it's easy to make the transition from their POVs as the book progresses.

I also love the cover. I was't a fan until I read the book, and I have to say that the cover is a great representation of all that Niven's story has to offer.

This book is beautifully written in great detail. It's a bit quirky but it gels together well. I think it's an accurate comparison to say that fans of The Fault in Our Stars will probably like it, but I think that it stands well enough on its own two feet. This book deals with heavy themes like suicide, death, and mental illness, so be warned and do not pick this up if you're in the mood for a light read. Fans of contemporary romance, road trip plots, and midwestern settings ought to give this book a try.

Thank you to Netgalley and Knopf for my copy in exchange for my honest review.

Blog Tour, Review, & Giveaway: Finding Hope by Beth Fred

Title: Finding Hope
Author: Beth Fred
Release date: September 1st, 2014
Source: IFB Book Tours


Summary from Goodreads:
When insecure eighteen-year-old Kailee Hill gets caught tagging Iraq war refugee, Abrahem Yohanna's garage, she's not expecting him to act as her designated driver, hold her hair back when she pukes, or offer to be a shoulder to cry on. But she's failing chemistry and her life is falling apart, so she uses the number Abe leaves her and finds herself with a new tutor.


The two quickly find themselves falling hard for each other. Kailee attacks a local grunt when he calls Abe a "sand nigger" and fights with her veteran brother to be with him. When she learns Abe hasn't told his family about her, she's heartbroken and the couple risks losing everything they've worked to build. To make matters worse, Kailee's previous acts make her the prime suspect in a serious crime. With Kailee behind bars and doubting his feelings for her, Abe must find a way to rescue the girl he loves and win back her affection . And to do that he’ll have to catch a crook…

Buy it now on Amazon

About the Author:
Beth Fred is a full time ELF keeper and part time author/blogger/writing instructor. She's represented by Kathleen Rushall of Marsal Lyons Literary Agency. Beth likes her tea hot, her romance sweet, and her guys chivalrous. Real men hold open doors, refer to you as ma'am, make promises they keep, and aren't afraid to profess their undying love. It's not breakfast if there aren't carbs (at least, not in the South). Fajitas, carnitas, and churros are just few of her favorite things. Bet you can't guess where she's from ;)
Website | Twitter | Facebook

Review:

★★★★ ★

Four and a half stars.

Wow. This little book is jam-packed full of feelings and drama. I'm having to compose my thoughts so that this review isn't just a rambling mess.

When I came across this title up for review, I was intrigued. I haven't read many books that feature Iraqi characters, let alone when you mix in a soldier with PTSD. And romance on top of that? I couldn't say no. And I have to say, I'm very glad I didn't.

First, we have the characters. Kailee is a high school aged girl who is trying to figure out her place. She used to be the queen bee, until her boyfriend broke it off with her and her best friend is taking her place as the school's leader. She's angry and hurt. She, like a lot of girls her age, makes bad decisions based off of her emotions and she struggles with self-esteem issues. Not to mention her brother, the ex-soldier with PTSD, an absent mother, and a father who doesn't care. I think she's a relatable girl all in all. And then there's Abrahem, the older brother of the girl she hates. They meet based off of hatred but they soon grow inseparable. I loved watching their relationship grow and even through the rocky parts (and believe me, there's rocky parts aplenty) I wanted them to be together. Although at some parts I was frustrated beyond measure at Abrahem's actions, I found him sweet and hard not to like. I see why Kailee fell for him.

This book addresses some pretty hard topics including racism, suicide, PTSD, and cyberbullying. I thought that the important issues were written out in a respectable manner, and the fact that the story was written in dual POV made it that much stronger to connect with this book. Not only was I able to see why Kailee did/said the things she did, I was able to see what life was like from the perspective of an Iraqi man who fled terrorism in his home country to come to the States. That is not a lens I have ever read through before, and it gave great insight as far as racial issues and culture. The best example of this was shown in the way that Abrahem's mother behaves, and how greatly her ideals clash with that of "modern" America.

The plot itself was full of so much drama, but I mean that in a great way. Just when I thought I had something figured out, Beth Fred would add another level of twists and information so that I was thrown back at square one. Between the forbidden romance, the criminal charges, a runaway arranged bride and some bar fights to name a few examples, there was never a dull moment in this book, and I devoured it in one sitting.

That is actually the only thing I didn't like so much about this book. It felt almost too fast at times, and I felt like some things needed to be focused on or talked about for a longer period of time. This wasn't enough to put me off from the story too much, but it was definitely something of which I took note.

I'd recommend this to mature YA readers looking for a more diverse read. This is apparently the second book featuring these characters, and I will absolutely be reading that one as well. As mentioned earlier, be warned that this book does contain suicide, war, racial problems, bullying, and harassment.

Thank you to IFB Tours for my copy in exchange for my honest review.

Giveaway:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Review: Some Boys by Patty Blount

Title: Some Boys
Author: Patty Blount
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: August 5th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Sourcebooks Fire


★★★

Three stars.

---

When Grace accuses the most popular and loved boy in the school of rape, the school turns its back on her. Bullied, harassed, and alone, her life becomes one of torment and ridicule. She gets in trouble and is forced to clean lockers over a school break, since another student is already being punished with the same task. That person is none other than Ian, the best friend of her rapist and the boy she's had a crush on since before the attack. They grow closer, but will Ian ever believe her, and will Grace ever learn to trust again?

Let me start this review by saying this rating was a hard one for me. I really, really liked some of the components of this novel, but there was far more that frustrated or annoyed me. All in all, I think the two balanced out in the end, giving it a neutral three out of five. I'll start with the good first, keeping spoilers to a minimum.

I really liked Grace as a character. Instead of letting the schoolmates win and keeping her head down or moving away, she continues to go to school, continues to hold her head up, and sticks with her story: that Zac attacked her against her will. When her friends abandon her and start calling her a slut, she tries not to let it show that it bothers her. She never stops searching for the proof and closure that she needs, and she remains the black, leather, stud wearing bad ass that she is. I really, really like that.

I also liked Ian. He was a complete jerk at times- that's true. But I think it's a believable level of mean. He's torn between believing the school "slut" and liar that he's finding himself attracted to, as well as the word of his best friend and teammate. He flip flops a bit, but I think it's a fair amount of inner turmoil, even though I of course hated him in the moments when he chose Zac over Grace. I liked their romance together, and see no issue with the concept of her feeling this way towards him. Rape doesn't mean you're not allowed to ever like a boy again.

The writing itself was fairly well done, with the chapters in duel POV, alternating between Ian and Grace. The one thing that did bug me about this is that sometimes the same conversation was held twice, without really offering more information. It grew a bit redundant.

Now, as for the not so good parts. The ending. Everything was way too sugar coated and cheery. Everyone just acts like nothing happened, and she forgives some of the closest people to her who have treated her like garbage for so long. I didn't like that. Not only did it feel rushed, but big person or not I feel Grace isn't the kind to do that. I was unpleasantly surprised.

I also don't understand the lack of concern towards Grace's rape. Why was Zac not arrested for posting lewd, underage material on the internet? Why did Facebook not delete the pornographic video? Why is the video not evidence enough? Why was Zac not punished at all? Where was his mother? In an fairly affluent town in which kids have Mustangs, in-ground pools, and Europe trips- why was no one sued for all of this suffering and bullying? It all just felt like there was a serious glaring hole as to why he was able to get away with the taunting, and the act itself. Plus, not one person supports her. Her mother thinks she should apologize, her dad thinks she asked for it by dressing "for attention", none of the teachers care. It baffles me.

As much as I liked Grace, I really hated some decisions and thoughts that she had. Her big protest, for one, felt out of place and awkward. I felt like it was added in to make the book longer or something. I see what Blount was going for, but it just didn't work for me. Grace, throughout the novel, is very anti-"slut" in that she hates that word. She is also very much against the idea that women are always to blame for why men go rogue. And yet, she calls her stepmom a slut for sleeping with her dad and being a homewrecker, blaming her for the reason why her family is no longer happy and whole. Where is the blame against her father? It takes two to have an affair, and yet Grace both calls her a slut AND blames her.

I think that books involving rape awareness, (cyber)bullying, bullying, and harm are growing increasingly important. And I do think that this book is worth reading more or less. There's a message that needs spreading and awareness to be raised, and I rather liked the romance aspect. However, I had a lot of questions that weren't answered, and it frustrated me greatly throughout the course of the novel. Be warned that this book contains rape, alcohol, bullying, slut-shaming, swearing, and suicide.

Thanks to Netgalley and Sourcebooks Fire for giving me a copy in exchange for my honest review.

Mini Review: Tell Me Why

Title: Tell Me Why
Author: Lacey Weatherford as Sydney Snow
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: November 17th 2013
Source: Netgalley & Mark My Words Book Publicity

★★★

Three stars.

---

This book drew me in with its promising blurb, involving suicide of a the main character, Anna's, best friend and her mission to figure out what events led up to this unexpected loss. However, I just didn't really feel this one.

I never really connected or got a sense of the characters. Both Anna and her love interest, her best friend's brother Caleb, didn't feel all too developed for me. I didn't get emotionally invested in their relationship, which made it hard for me to be invested in the bigger story by default. I also didn't realize that Caleb is a musician, rocker-type. I'm not a fan of rocker/music romances. I'm waiting for one to blow me away but as a whole they usually just fall flat, like this one did. I also didn't feel like the POVs were different enough to be alternated- both voices felt the same.

This wasn't a bad book, it just seemed like something I've read before (but I don't remember what off-hand). The reveal seemed a bit over the top, and the build up seemed a bit below it. I think that if you're a fan of rockers, there is a good chance that you will enjoy this more than I did. The writing was pretty solid and the story was okay, it just didn't rock my socks off.

Thanks to Netgalley and Mark My Words Book Publicity for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Big Fat Disaster by Beth Fehlbaum

Title: Big Fat Disaster
Author: Beth Fehlbaum
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: April 18th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Merit Press

★

One Star.

---

Colby Denton is the less than perfect daughter of an up and coming politician, something her family never lets her forget. Her sisters are perfect, but her family is ashamed of her being in the limelight because of her size. Her world starts to come apart when she finds out that her father has been lying and stealing. Forced to move into the trailer on her cousin's property, she must face new obstacles like bullying, school politics, suicide, and self-worth and acceptance in a new town.

This book y'all. This. Book. It had me in rage-tears. It made me so ridiculously angry, you have no idea. I took about six pages of hand-written, venting notes and observations on this one. That being said, I have taken some time to cool off so that I may write a respectful and professional review. I'll try my best to refrain from spoilers.

I was really excited to read this one. In theory, I should have related to it on a lot of different levels. I'm plus sized. I have a father who left us for another family and lied about money so that we had to move in with family. But this novel just didn't click with me at all. Shall we begin?

I didn't like any of the characters, and that includes Colby. She's the main character, and I ought to have felt sympathy and compassion for her, but I found her to be just as bad as the rest of them. Her family is constantly belittling her and calling her uncreative insults like "fat" at every waking turn. Even the other heavy girl in the family makes comments about it. Almost all of her teachers for some reason hate her, and the whole school makes fun of her because she's in knock off clothes. I could have maybe dealt with that. But Colby is constantly talking shit to/about her little sister, she refers to her mom's willingness to go shopping for her at garage sales when they have no money as "dumpster diving". There's a whole lot of shaming going on. They almost all feel like villains, in a kind of melodramatic way. I've been in Colby's shoes, and I've never seen such across the board horrid beings. The family members all blame her aunt for her abuse, the cousin for his defending a girl getting raped, and even Colby's mom for getting dumped. That's not even mentioning the people at school.

I also feel like she brought a lot of this onto herself. And no, I'm not talking about her eating disorder, binge eating. She puts on clothes that are way too tight and gets made fun of for it and hurts herself in the process because she won't tell her mom they don't fit. She speaks her mind at horrible times, and has to pay the price. She lies. It's awful.

On the topic of her eating disorder, I felt like it was added as an after thought when I expected it to be a more central theme. It really, in my opinion, just served to open her up to everyone's hatred. It would go unmentioned long enough that I'd forget (not about her size- that's mentioned constantly, but her disorder), and then would have to think "oh yeah, she has that."

Similarly, there are a lot of heavy topics mentioned in this book that are treated fairly blase in a soap-opera like drama instead of being given the care, tact, and respect they deserve. Eating disorders, suicide, bullying, cyberbullying, abuse, rape, slut shaming, class shaming, this book has it all. There's so much mentioned, but I don't feel like any of them were thoroughly explored or attended to. A video of Colby goes viral, and her mom actually blames her for being fat. Because if she weren't fat, she wouldn't have been filmed. What? The one character that I did like, who called characters out on their bullshit the way they deserved, dies out of nowhere and that upset me too. Not because he died, but because it seemed so needless.

This could have all maybe been leading up to some greater resolution, where differences are resolved and tensions simmer down and Everyone learns something. Nope. Colby starts to sort of come around towards the end, maybe, and then the book ends. I didn't like her anymore at the end of the novel than I did at the beginning. I felt like I read all this drama and conflict for naught.

This wasn't the book for me. If rape, abuse, suicide, or eating disorders are a trigger for you, please read this with caution. In short, it was too much drama and not enough likable characters. Be warned that this has a lot of serious themes and vulgar language. Maybe you'll like it better than I did. Thanks to Netgalley & Merit Press for my chance to read this.

Review: And We Stay

Title: And We Stay
Author: Jenny Hubbard
Format: egalley
Pub. Date: January 28th 2014
Source: Netgalley & Delacorte Press

★★★★★

Four and a half stars, rounded up.

---

Emily Beam is a girl who has a lot of soul-searching to do. Her boyfriend Paul threatened her at gunpoint in their school library, before turning it on himself and ending his life. In order to help her cope with the life that is unraveling around her, Emily is sent to a private boarding school in the hometown of fellow poet Emily Dickinson- Amherst, Massachusetts. Writing her poetry helps her figure things out, but the boarding school comes with its own set of both challenges and inspirations that she must encounter, harnessing her inner Dickinson.

This book is one of the few that I feel that I will read over and over again. It is written in both verse and prose, and Jenny Hubbard blends the two in an expert manner.

First, let's talk about the verse. Set in the 90s, protagonist Emily Beam uses her poetry and writing to express what she's going through in the months after Paul's death. The chapters in this book are divided up by Emily's poems. More than just a nice reprieve from the prose of the story, these poems were beautiful. My personal favorite was "Absinthe", and I would like a copy to hang on my wall, if we're being honest. In addition to the character's poetry, we are also given snippets and poems by her spirit-poet, Emily Dickinson. As a fan of hers in the first place, this was nice to include as well.

And then there's the prose. The gorgeous, gorgeous prose. I will tell you one thing: Jenny Hubbard knows her way around the English language. Her writing is incredibly poetic and almost dreamy. Though the entire novel has an air of sadness and grief about it, Hubbard manages to detail the settings and events in her story quite vividly. It was enough to suck me in, and I read it in one go. This book is written in both third person past tense, and third person present tense, depending on if it's narrating Emily's former experiences at her school, or her current ones in Amherst. This is the only real flaw I had with the book- I dislike present tense. It's nothing personal against Hubbard, she did it well. It's just a personal preference. Otherwise, Hubbard strums up a wide variety of emotions in this one little book. I felt periods of monumental sadness, more fleeting moments of happiness or intrigue or surprise. My feelings got a work out, for sure.

It's true that I connected to this book because I consider myself a writer of poetry, but the main reason why I found this novel so inexplicably enchanting is the fact that I attended school in Amherst. More specifically, UMass. I had to walk past Emily Dickinson's house on my way into town to get mail or coffee, or even school books. So when Emily Beam visits, or walks past, or stops for a smoke on the bench across the street, I feel like I am there with her, because I have been. I used to go for late night smokes, same as her. And when I did, I also found myself near to Emily Dickinson's house. Emily Beam is a character that I connect strongly with, and it made a world of difference.

And one final topic- look at that cover. Just look at it. Stunning.

And We Stay is a book that I have no doubt I will need to buy to put a physical copy on my shelf. I recommend it to fans of poetry, or those who prefer their young adult books to address gritty, adult topics like suicide and abortion. If you don't enjoy poetry: YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS BOOK. Thank you so much to Netgalley and Delacorte Press for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

The S-Word by Chelsea Pitcher

Title: The S-Word
Editor: Chelsea Pitcher
Format: egalley edition
Pub. Date: May 7th 2013
Source: NetGalley & Gallery Books

★★★★★

Four and a half stars, rounded up.

After she was caught in a hotel room on prom night with her best friend's boyfriend, Lizzie is labelled as the school slut. The students taunt her, and her locker becomes riddled with that word, over and over again. Slut. Shortly after, Lizzie commits suicide. Her best friend, Angie, cannot let sleeping dogs lie and begins to dig into the secrets of the school's student body, unraveling them bit by bit in an attempt to find out what really led Lizzie to end her life, and who was behind it. But can Angie handle what secrets she uncovers, and more importantly, will she be able to tame the raging, vengeful curiosity that has begun to consume her?

----

Wow. I wasn't sure how I was going to enjoy this one, but it was a raw, emotional ride from start to finish. I give it 4.5/5 stars, rounded up.

+I really enjoyed the writing itself. It was gritty and honest, and not always pleasant, but portrayed a gorgeous portrait of the darker side of high school. I found the language to be modern without trying too hard to be young, which is an issue I have with a lot of other contemporary novels.

+I honestly had no idea what was going on- and I mean that in a good way. Though this book isn't a traditional "whodunnit", there is still a mystery taking place. Up until the end, I had no idea how it would end. I had theories and thought processes that rearranged several times throughout the course of the book, and I was still taken by surprise. That is a great trait in a book for me.

+I'm pretty sure a large reason as to why I... Enjoyed isn't the right word. Why I connected to this book is because I've witnessed it happen, to a lesser extent. A girl in my high school committed suicide after a trio of her friends took a rumor as true and turned it against her. After her death, the friends came undone and grieved in the same way some of the characters do in this story. Though there was far less drama and vengeance in my real-life witnessing, I couldn't help but to picture my acquaintance as Lizzie. This is a topic that needs to be expressed more in young adult literature. Suicide, and slut shaming and bullying, are so much more frequent with technology what it is, but the stories seemed to be glossed over. It happens every day, and stories like The S-Word remind us of that fact.

+ As a member of the LGBT community, I really appreciated some of the queer themes that appeared, if only briefly, in this book. This was another part of the book that made me connect more strongly, and made the book more "real."

-The only real issue that I had with this story was the amount of digging and spying and lying that Angie went through. I understand the guilt and grief that she felt, but it was downright psychotic at times and made it a bit uncomfortable to read. As a whole, these parts helped to shape the novel, but at times they seemed just a bit too much.

I recommend this book to any young adult, and to any fan of young adult literature or contemporary story. Be warned, this story contains very serious topics such as rape, self-harm, LGBT identity, suicide, and sexual abuse. This isn't a light-hearted read. If any of those topics bother you, than give this a pass. Everyone else: Give this book a shot.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for my ebook copy.